#just a quick shitpost before bed.

[robotsafari]

no.

[guinevereslancelot]

not now mom, i’m spending the next four hours painstakingly crafting a gifset that will get 83 notes

[choccy-milky]

the full seb & clora selfie 📷💕

(ominis is already on his family's plan but he's there to annoy seb anyway)

[porcelana-r0ta]

let the mourners come

Title: let the mourners come

Ao3 Link: Only available to Ao3 users

Word Count: 3045

Summary:

It started, as most things do with Danny Fenton, as a joke.

It ended, as most things do with Jazz Fenton, with things better than they were before.

xxXxx

When Danny finally gets a Twitter, it’s during Elon Musk’s shit show takeover. He’s able to secure a good Twitter handle thanks to people leaving en masse and fleeing to Tumblr. He knows about things that happen outside of Amity Park (he is terminally online rather than chronically, after all), but he still doesn’t think anything of using @TheJoker as his handle, even knowing about Gotham City’s clown troubles. It’s just going to be a shitpost account, anyway, one that dances in the chaos of Elon’s electronic graveyard. Nothing will come about him using @TheJoker when he’s merely posting things like, “Just grew a new row of teeth!!! very pointy but can’t go to the dentist anymore bc they might turn me in to the giw.”

So Danny honestly never foresaw The Actual Real Joker breaking out of Arkham Asylum all the way in Gotham City, New Jersey, and deciding to get a Twitter account to terrorize people online as well as offline. And he definitely never foresaw The Joker @’ing him on Twitter, demanding that Danny change his Twitter handle. But, well. Here he was. 

[Image Description: A screenshot of a Twitter reply chain, starting with the real Joker @'ing Danny's Twitter account, which uses TheJoker as his Twitter handle. The Joker, who has a verified account, demands that Danny "change your handle", and Danny replies with a simple "no" followed by red heart emoji. The Joker Tweets, "Kid you don't know who you're fucking with," to which Danny replies, "Ye I do ur some dude w/ poor fashion sense and lame jokes. Maybe try badjokesbyjeff bc originality is ugly on u" followed by a shrugging emoticon. The Joker responds, "Check your DMs." Danny then responds, "Perf [happy emoji surrounded by hearts] I've sent you a time and place. Can't wait to beat the shit out of another disgrace of a clown." Someone with the username "Gregg rulz ok" responds to Danny's last Tweet, "Bro is absolutely RATIOING the joker but the clown keeps responding [three skull emojis] embarrassing frfr too bad he's gonna die for realsies".

End ID]

Danny is quick to respond and then makes even quicker work of roasting The Joker. This soon results in The Joker DMing him his IP Address and a creative threat. Still, Danny isn’t about to cow to a clown with no respect for the art of clowning. He replies to the DM: 

Cool, meet me at the Nasty Burger parking lot in Amity Park IL on tuesday at 2am

The response from The Joker is quick:

Fourteen year olds are too confident these days

Danny rolls his eyes and ignores the influx of notifications from Twitter, and instead makes another Tweet.

Imagine beefing with someone over a Twitter handle lol acc so embarrassing for him

He blackens his screen and stretches in bed, letting his spine pop more than what is humanly possible. He runs his tongue over that second row of teeth, his lips curling into a grin. 

xxXxx

Gothamite Twitter is blowing up over The Joker’s social media beef with a faceless shitposting account. Jason, upon finding out about it, has a series of reactions: first, he looks up the shitposter and follows them. Then, he finds the actual chain between the poster and The Joker, and his vision goes vibrant green when he sees that The Joker’s profile picture is of the second Robin, beaten and swollen in an abandoned building in Ethiopia. 

When his vision clears and he can breathe without wanting to kill, he likes the shitposter’s replies, and he calls the Replacement to see if the other Bats know already.

“We know,” Tim says in lieu of a hello when the ringing cuts out. “We’re working on it.”

“What, you think anything’s gonna come of it?” But even as Jason asks, he already knows the answer. The Joker is unhinged and once he’s threatened something, he’ll follow up unless he comes up with a “funnier” option. 

Tim’s breath hitches, and he says, “I’ve hacked their DMs. Joker knows the kid’s IP address and sent it to him. He knows everything from that address alone.”

He pauses in the middle of suiting up, “Kid?”

He hears Tim swallow, “Yes, kid. He’s fifteen. And he gave The Joker a specific time and place to meet up to fight. In his own hometown.”

“Are— are you fucking kidding me?” 

“No. B is already calling Nightwing. We’re taking the Batwing to Illinois.”

“Jesus fuck. I’ll be there in twenty.”

“Hood, I—”

“Shut up, I’m already in my gear.” He hangs up without waiting for a response. 

He refreshes the Twitter feed and barks a laugh at the newest Tweet:

Jason Todd votes, and the Red Hood leaves his safe house. 

xxXxx

A commercial flight to Illinois takes around two and a half hours. In the Batwing, they get there in an hour, and don’t even have to worry about the drive from Chicago to a small speck of a town like Amity Park. They spend the quick flight learning everything they can about Daniel James Fenton, the owner of the Twitter account, and they can all sense the growing tension from (and between) Bruce and Jason.

But, well. Jason doesn’t care. Let them be uncomfortable. It doesn’t compare to being ripped back into life and finding out his dad didn’t even get justice for his death. 

When they reach town, it doesn’t take long to find the Fentons’ home. This is in part because Amity Park is a very navigable town, and because of the giant neon sign proclaiming FentonWorks on the side of the building. 

“Is that a blimp?” Dick asks. “Why don’t we have a blimp?” 

“Where would we keep it?” the Demon Brat counters practically. “Goliath takes up all of the Cave’s extra space.” 

Jason rolls his eyes and knows veins would be popping out of Bruce’s forehead if it weren’t for the cowl. 

“Let’s go,” Bruce says instead, and they all make their way to the house. 

Nightwing, predictably, goes for the front door approach. Jason rolls his eyes as he takes one of the second-story windows and finds his way downstairs.

He gets down at the same time that a redheaded girl answers the door and nearly slams it in Dick’s face. Jason has to suppress snickers at the sight. 

“Wait, wait, wait, are you Jazz Fenton? We need to talk to your brother!” 

“...We?” she asks, then tenses and turns around to see the rest of the Bats in the hall behind her. Dick takes the opportunity to step in completely, closing the door behind him. “Wha— what’s going on?”

“Where are your parents, Jazz?” Bruce makes every question sound like a demand. Jason rolls his eyes from behind his mask—way to put the teenager at ease, B.

“Why do you need to know?” Her voice has a defensive edge to it. “What do you want with Danny?” 

“Hey, it’s okay,” Nightwing comforts. “He didn’t do anything too bad, just said some dumb things online. It’s not his fault.” 

This relaxes her, and her shoulders begin un-hunching. “Oh, s-so what’d he do?”

“He foolishly challenged The Joker to a battle in a ‘Nasty Burger’ parking lot tonight.” 

“You could’ve had some more tact, Robin,” Nightwing scolds. But the Demon Spawn just crosses his arms. 

“He did what?” Jazz shrieks. “Like, The Joker from Gotham? That Joker?”

“Are there others?” Red Hood comments dryly. 

Her face goes through several different emotions—disbelief, rage, fear, and then rage again, “DANIEL JAMES FENTON! GET DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW!” 

There’s a thumping noise, and then frantic footsteps down the stairs. 

“Wha? Who died?” asks the figure of a tiny fifteen-year-old, smaller than even Jason had been when he was alone with The Joker. He’s tiny and lanky. Zero muscle definition. Eye bags to rival the Replacement’s. Something ripples in the Pit, deep and distinct, but he can’t name what causes it.

Oh, this kid is so dead. 

“Danny,” says Jazz calmly while Danny blinks uncomprehendingly at the heroes in their hallway. She is solemn when she says, “I’m afraid I’m going to have to kill you now.” 

“What did I do?” 

She stares at him, “Why have you scheduled a fight with The Joker?” 

“Oh, that.” He rubs the back of his neck, “Is he taking that seriously?”

“Of course he is, Danny! It’s The Joker! That’s what he does! He can’t differentiate between a joke and reality! He would tear off his own face for the bit!” 

“Oof,” is all Danny can muster. He digs his phone out and starts typing before Jazz yanks it out his hand. 

“You’re fucking TWEETING about this?” Jazz asks incredulously, and Hood’s hackles rise. She even reads the Tweet aloud, “‘Just found out @TheJ0ker is being fr about fighting me. Sad but i can take a clown.’”

“I was gonna add ‘i’ve done it b4,’ but like the letter and the number four. But yeah.” 

“You’re grounded forever.” Danny opens his mouth to protest, but the look Jazz cuts at him is so scathing that he shuts his mouth. Hood is reluctantly impressed—she had what could be cultivated into a fantastic Batglare. She pockets the phone, “You’re never getting this phone back. Taunting The Joker to Amity? Have you any brain cells? What if he brings Joker gas with him, huh? Or any of his goons? What if he starts hurting other people? Have you thought any of this through?” 

Danny’s face goes from tired to chastised, his lips drawing into a frown, especially at the mention of other people. 

“I’m sorry,” he says. “I didn’t think that he’d take it so seriously.”

“He sent you your IP Address.”

“I thought that was just a random string of numbers?”

“Oh my god,” Jazz despairs. “Oh my god. Grounded forever. See, I know you're lying to me. I know you're lying because Tucker, the nerdiest tech nerd to have ever been born, is your best friend.”

He rubs the back of his neck, “I tune him out?”

“You’re still lying to me?” Jazz scoffs and turns to Batman, “Do whatever you want with him. I’m not going to defend him from this.” 

“Hey!” complained her brother, but Batman just continued on, “Where are your parents?”

“They’re in Sweden for a science convention,” Jazz answers. “They left this morning.” 

Damn, Jason curses to himself. 

“Jazz, seriously. You’re not gonna let Batman kill me, right?” 

“Do you want to be cremated or buried, Danny?” Jazz asks blasély, and Danny gulps, refusing to meet anyone’s eyes. 

“It’s my Twitter handle,” he mutters petulantly, and Jason can’t believe the gall of this kid. Or maybe stupidity. Audacity’s a good one, too. “If he wanted it, he should’ve gotten it first. And he gives clowns a bad name.” 

“Not the clown thing again.” Jazz digs her palms into her eyes, sighs, then turns to the heroes. “He has a whole clown thing ever since Circus Gothica came to town and robbed a bunch of jewelry stores.” 

Danny gestures wildly with his hands, as if demonizing clowns was the real problem and not the egomaniacal mass murderer who wanted to murder him for his Twitter handle, “Clowning is an art form, Jazz, and people like Freakshow and The Joker make a mockery of the very serious societal statements that clowns make!” 

All of the Bats very carefully Did Not look at Nightwing, who has made very similar rants on quiet patrols.

“You are never leaving this house again,” she says serenely. “And I’m unplugging the wifi router.”

“You would punish even yourself?”

“Oh, little brother. I would watch the world burn if it meant knocking sense into your thick skull.” 

“Okay, Christ,” Red Hood finally interrupted the siblings’ melodrama. An unyielding redheaded girl and a mouthy black-haired, blue-eyed boy? They’d fit in a little too well back at the Manor, so Jason needs to cut this shit out before Bruce’s bat-doption instincts start tingling. “Stop. Just… Christ. Stop. Is this how you always interact with each other?”

“Sometimes there’s explosions,” Danny pipes up, a cheeky grin on his face. 

Jazz doesn’t dispute it. 

Fucking hell. God damn it. I can’t. I just can’t. 

Batman doesn’t give anything away, “Robin and Red Robin will be staying here with you until Nightwing, Hood, and I apprehend The Joker. First, we’re going to check the perimeter.” 

“Oooh, I get to give the lab tour!” 

Lab?

“No lab. You’re grounded. You’ll only be in there for cleaning duty now.”

“Wh– hey! No fair!” 

“What’s this lab you two are talking about?” Red Robin asks before Jazz can rip into her brother again. 

She sighs, “Our parents’ lab. I’ll show you, but someone needs to stay with Danny.” 

“You act like I’m gonna run off and start World War III….”

“I wonder why,” she says sarcastically.

Batman nods to Robin, who nods back, and the rest of them follow Jazz out of the living room to a metal reinforced door. She types in a code—Jason catches the numbers 03-14-99. There’s an assenting beep, and she opens the door, flicking on the lights and leading them down into what is apparently a basement lab. 

A stone settles in Red Hood’s stomach, cold and heavy. 

The basement is large, likely the floor size of the entire building. There are several work tables, filled with miscellaneous blueprints and spare parts and weapons and tools. Against the farthest wall is another armored door, but what draws Hood’s—and the entire Batclan’s—attention is the south wall, where a circular hole in the wall was glowing a toxic Pit green. 

The stone shattered in his stomach, splintering into his body. Is it harder or easier to breathe? Jason can’t tell. 

“Wow,” says Nightwing. His voice is cheerful, but Jason can feel the stress beneath it. “Do I even want to know?” 

Wasn’t this supposed to just be typical Joker bullshit?

“Our parents are ectobiologists,” Jazz explains nonchalantly, walking further into the lab. “As in, ghost biologists.” She pauses at one of the work tables, picking up a green and white thermos. Pretty boring, considering the rest of their surroundings. 

“Ghosts.” Red Robin’s voice is carefully neutral. 

“Ghosts,” Jazz reaffirms. “I know. I thought they were crazy at first, too. But I can prove it, if you like.” Then, without waiting for a yes or no, she untwists the thermos, and there’s a bright flash of white, and a whole entire body sprouting out of it. 

“WHOO! I’M FREE!” cries the…being, pale and floating and lanky and entirely too big to have fit into a fucking thermos, of all the fucking things. “....And not in the Realms? Wait.” He stops stretching, descending to rest closer to the ground, but still hovering a few inches from the floor. He’s got green eyes and lifeless (ha) blond hair. He’s wearing a trenchcoat and a green skull necklace. Overall, he looks like the type of thug he’d arrest in the Bowery. 

“Hello, Johnny.” The man’s—ghost’s?—eyes flicker around each person in the room, his gaze becoming more and more confused and panicked as he takes in each Bat, before settling on Jazz Fenton. 

“Why are the fucking Bats here?” 

“The Joker’s coming to Amity,” she says. The ghost’s eyes widen. Jazz tilts her head, “How many ghosts would you say passed away in Gotham, Johnny?” 

As Jason and the Bats tense, this Johnny guy lets out a wicked laugh, “Oh, Doll, you have the best surprises. Why did we break up?” 

“You did try to have my body possessed. That ruins any good relationship.” 

“Man, but Kitty’ll love this. Thanks for letting me out of Soup Time, Doll.” He floats higher, “Any advice?” 

She throws him the phone she’d confiscated from Danny and he catches it easily, “Everything’s on here. Have fun.”

“What exactly are you planning?” Batman scowls. 

Johnny laughs, “Aww, don’t worry, Bats. Peace and love on Planet Earth, or whatever. We’ll make it quick.” Then, as the Bats leap into action as one, Johnny turns invisible, the Batarangs passing harmlessly through where he’d once been floating. 

“Where did he go?” Batman turns his scowl, angrier than ever, to Jazmin Fenton, who stares back unflinchingly. “He’s going to solve the problem.”

“You mean he’s going to kill The Joker.”

She shakes her head, “Oh, no. That’d just be asking for him to come back as a ghost. Could you imagine a Joker with powers like invisibility, intangibility, flight, and more? Johnny can be impulsive, but he’s smart. None of them will kill The Joker.” 

“Then what are they going to do?” Red Robin asks. 

“My parents are ectobiologists,” Jazz repeats from earlier. “But I am more of an anthro-ectopologist. I am concerned with the study of ectoplasmic beings’ societies and cultures. And while it is very ancient, there is protocol in the Infinite Realms—that is, where you go when you die, should you remain after death—to prosecute living criminals who have killed a certain number of Realms citizens. So you don’t have to worry about your moral code, Batman. The Joker will be tried by a much fairer court than Gotham can ever hope to have. No offense.” 

Jason stares at Jazz Fenton, who he’d pegged as the sane sibling. He’s not so sure now, but he can’t say he hates it.

“And how do we know it’s a fair trial?” Nightwing asks. 

She waves her hand, “Oh, as Gotham’s Knights, you’re key witnesses. I’m sure you’ll be summoned to testify. You will see then. And don’t worry about your secret identities—the dead don’t care much for that sort of thing.” 

“So if this is a ‘fair’ trial or whatever, The Joker’s going to be locked up forever?” Jason asks. “I mean, that’s the only option for shit like him.” 

Batman sends him a look, but he ignores it. 

“Well, there are several different punishments that could be deemed appropriate, but he’ll never be able to set foot in the mortal world again, yes.” 

Jason Todd grins, “Oh, I’m glad your brother’s stupid, kid.” 

She sighs, long-suffering, “Well, that makes one of us. Still, there’s more important things we should discuss now that you’re here.”

“More important than The Joker trying to kill your brother over a Twitter handle?” Red Robin asks doubtfully. 

Jazz smiles, sharp and dangerous, and asks, ”Have you ever heard of the Anti-Ecto Acts?” 

xxXxx

Several months later when Danny is finally un-grounded, he Tweets his last three Tweets before Twitter can become the foolishly named X: 

Imagine bullying the Joker so hard that it not only lands the Joker in ghost prison BUT it also leads to major law reform in the US lmao someone make the domino effect meme about this pls

Y’allre replying to me with thanks like i did anything other than be an internet troll. My sister literally manipulated local, federal, and interdimensional law so you should be thanking her. 

i just a babie 🥺🥺🥺

xxXxx

Thanks for reading! This is the whole fic, so pls do not ask for tags! Thank you :)

[sansundertale14x1]

why NauseAxe_404 loves your writing so much…

based on this silly tweet, I’m gonna use ‘Nick’ for this- for ease of writing (and for my poor poor hands.)

no pronouns but ‘you’- little post cuz I haven’t written in a while.- use of the in-game website: "Dumblr", no it's not a typo;-; Proshippers DNI

word count: 878

content warning: brief explanations of canon violence, creepy stalker-ish behavior (NOTHING SEXUAL ATTACHED), Nick being a weirdo honestly.

vvv that isn't my art, and this entire writing is a fanfic for a game " Monster x Mediator" made by HeadLocker! I really recommend playing the game or watching the gameplay, cuz it's really fantastic!

Story under cut :3

Nick’s in love with your writing…(if you already couldn’t tell), but it’s difficult for you to understand why.

Usually, when you'd open up your laptop, it was after a tough shift at your crap job and you just wanted to do something to fill in the time after dinner and before bed. It was always on the shorter side, 100 words each, and was normally just a quick and crappy self-insert fic to satisfy your creative urges from doing a boring-ass job all day. You never really thought your tiny one-shots would attract any attention, but the man you've been staying with proves otherwise.

"NauseAxe_404" is what he called himself, but you've just been calling him 'Nick' for now. He had been reading your old Dumblr blog for who knows how long, and he's taken a major interest in your little shitposts...So much, so that he had taken the time to print out every single one of your posts and personal information pinned to his room's walls. It's extremely creepy...but also sort of charming?

For the last few days or so, you've been held in Nick's hotel room, practically glued to a desk with a typewriter...slowly making your way through a 100-paged fic that he specifically requested of you. Though you technically could stand up and leave...you'd really prefer for your skull to stay in one piece...and not have a bullet put through your temple.

Nick has been staring at you almost the entire time...which only certified in your mind that he is not human. Every time you turn to see if he's still there...like an unmoving fortress, he always is. It's been a solid 8+ hours of you sitting there and writing...and your stomach starts to emit loud sounds of hunger. You pray he didn't hear that, and continue to type away at the dated machine. However, to your dismay, his deep voice chimes in.

"...What page are you on...?"

Nick asks, seemingly trying to speak quietly for you, but his naturally booming voice isn't giving you any favors.

"...uhm..."

You take a moment to review what you have done...it doesn't look like much but it feels like it took AGES to write out...

"About...10? It's not a-"

"That's wonderful, Superstar!"

He cuts you off just as you begin to speak.

Of course, he's going to be ecstatic. You can't fathom why he seems to be so hopelessly in love with whatever you slap on the paper. You're curious..so you begin to speak.

"...uhm...Nick...why do you..take interest in my writing?"

You softly speak, trying to be careful with your words...you can't afford to overstimulate this man.

For a chatty guy...Nick was oddly silent at the ask of this question…or at least for a few seconds.

“I was trying to find a way to ease the boredom and loneliness of this fucking hotel, so…huff…I joined Dumblr and started to search for writing…that was…huff….purposeful…and that could fix me..”

No way in hell your crackfics could change this man...He must've come out of the womb like that. (or...however the hell he was made..)

"...I came across your first post years ago..huff...and fell in love with the way you wrote your love interest....huff...I knew you were talking about me when I wrote all those comments~"

You never looked at comments due to embarrassment...and you honestly didn't think anyone would even care to comment in the first place.

"....you weren't responding to me...huff...so I might've found everything about you in the meantime...huff...just so I could notice you in a crowd...I always will~"

Okay, now it's getting creepy. You hope that by just turning back around and continuing to write maybe he'd shut up...You guess it's sorta your fault for striking up a conversation with the creep.

"All the other writers don't know shit about writing...huff...1k word counts...huff...long and complicated stories that don't make any fucking sense..."

There goes the rambles. You stop typing for a moment to process what the hell he just said. He either is really balls-deep into this fantasy of you being a perfect human...or he's just trying to fluff you up so you'll continue writing for him. He's really delusional, that's it. It's seriously hard to believe your crap was life-changing for Nick.

“Simplicity is the most important part…huff…not describing some stupid walk sequence for 3 sentences…huff…it’s a waste of space..”

"....maybe you just like simpler writing...?"

You softly reply, yet again praying that you didn't accidentally strike a chord with this guy. He stares you down, and even if you aren't looking back at him, you can still feel the burning of his eyes on the back of your head.

"That's possible."

Oh, it's highly probable. He gets so emotional over the tiniest bit of anything, so...He just doesn't need too many words to evoke a reaction...It checks out because you also like to write a straight-to-the-point sorta piece.

"but don't let your mind wander for...huff...too long...my superstar...you've got at least 90+ pages to go~"

Shit, he was right...time to get back to work.

[4suitedplayingcard]

Various Punch Out Headcanons I have that I felt the need to share or else my brain would explode :p

All of the boxers (who didn't originally live in New York) pretty much just live in hell NY now cuz of their boxing career. They do visit their families during vacation and all that, but for the most part, they just stay in New York.

Piston Hondo finds it hard to make friends with people who are around the same age as him and younger because he finds them harder to understand/relate to (and also a bit more judgemental), so he mostly hangs out w/ people who are much older than him, with the only exception being Great Tiger.

King Hippo thinks that most beds are uncomfortable and will sleep pretty much anywhere except on a bed. On the floor, the couch, a pile of leaves, a comically small pillow, etc etc.

Aran Ryan has a bad habit of eating non edible objects out of intrusive thinking (and also spite sometimes), he's eaten things ranging from twigs to hand sanitizer to cigarette butts and has been sent to the hospital a couple of times because of it.

Don Flamenco is obsessed with skincare, mostly due to the fact that he looks like a middle aged man with his toupee off. The second he gets his paycheck, he immediately spends most of it on various scrubs and lotions. He even almost went bankrupt on numerous occasions because of it

Bear Hugger had been friends with Ms. Bear even since he was 12 years old. He found her all alone in the forest on a snowy day when she was a baby and his parents agreed to keep her until they find her a new home (which obviously didn't work out)

Super Macho Man is a nepo baby. His mother was a movie actor while his father was also a heavyweight boxer, which caused him to get a lot of attention from not only his peers at school, but also media outlets too.

Glass Joe has terrible eyesight and mostly uses contact lenses wherever he goes, though he does occasionally wear glasses sometimes (mostly at home or whenever he's run out of contacts).

Bald Bull is VERY reluctant to touch, even the slightest little bump in can cause him to flip out. He only makes this exception to people who are super close to him, but even then, he doesn't want any physical contact for too long or he’ll start to lose it.

Even though Von Kaiser wasn't actually apart of a war, he was enrolled in a boot camp for a few years of his life. It was hell and he still has nightmares about it to this day…

No matter how much sleep he gets, Great Tiger usually ends up sleepy at some point during the day. He's tried every to get him to sleep better, drinking warm milk, staying away from electronics an hour before bed, taking melatonin, but he still ends up tired in the middle of the day sometimes and it drives him mad.

Y'know those scientist that you see in Soda Popinski’s title defense slideshow? Well those are kind of his dads. He was left on the doorsteps of a lab when he was a baby, and all of the people in the facility have been taking care of him ever since.

Disco Kid has a brother a few months younger than him who used to be the boxer known as Kid Quick. They both started Boxing at around 18, but Kid Quick ended up quitting early in his career to focus on something more mundane. (Yea ik I made a lil shitpost drawing a few weeks ago about Kid Quick being pre-transition Disco Kid but shhhh-)

Mr. Sandman is the only boxer in the entire organization that's not only married, but also has a kid. He has a wife named Alena and a daughter named Chelsea, they all live with Sandman in NYC. :)

[shou-jpeg]

-Back on the Beat-

Part 3. 01

October 29th, 7:32pm

Porchay is lying sideways on his bed, scrolling through spotify and trying not to think about Kim. His curtains are wide open and he looks up occasionally to gaze out at the city lights. 

He’s been living at the Theerapanyakul compound for almost five months now, and he still feels out of place and uncomfortable most of the time he’s here. 

He wishes he could go back to his family home. 

He wishes he could go back to a year ago, when things were simpler and he shared meals with his brother, instead of eating alone in his room. Porsche is so busy these days, they only get to catch up in person once a week at most. 

But if they could go back, that would mean Porsche wouldn’t have Kinn. 

Would Porsche be just as happy had he never met Kinn? If they had never met, surely Porsche would fall in love with someone else and be just as happy. Porchay is a romantic through and through, but he’s never really been one to believe in the concept of a “one true love.”

His chest tightens. 

Would his own love life be easier if he had never met Kim?

If Kim had just remained a pretty face on his phone screen, the local celebrity Porchay looked up to and admired, would Porchay have eventually met someone else? 

He’s had plenty of crushes before, and he’s always been so ready and so quick to fall into love. 

Maybe he could have met someone at university, and they could have had a slow and sweet romance.

Porchay sighs.

He doesn’t know what he’s doing. 

He told himself he would leave things up to Kim, and yet here he is, messaging Kim most days and even asking him up to his room. 

He’s so weak willed. 

Kim had spent almost four hours in Porchay’s rooms the other day when Porchay had invited him up after family dinner. They had finished his shitpost for tiktok, and then spent half an hour looking through his saved videos together, until one of them reminded Kim about a situation he had been in at the shopping centre a year prior, and then they ended up talking for the next two hours, bouncing from topic to topic. 

It felt a lot like how it used to be, before everything happened. How things were when Porchay felt like he was floating on air, getting to spend time with Kim and getting to know him, and falling more and more in love with him every minute they spent together. When he thought, just maybe, Kim might hold similar feelings for him. 

They hadn’t even talked about what happened between them. Porchay didn't even remember they hadn't talked about it until an hour after Kim left.

Porchay doesn’t even know how much he wants to talk about it anymore.

He thinks he understands a little better, after all these months, where Kim might have been coming from. 

If he lets himself believe that the Kim he got to know was real, and that Kim does feel the same way he does, he can reason why things happened the way they did and why Kim broke it off with him when he did. 

If he lets himself believe Kim holds feelings for him, almost everything between them up until this point would make sense. 

The confession, the heartbreak, the constant attempts to contact him again.

Yok's bar.

The video he can't stop watching.

The messages they've been exchanging.

But Porchay doesn’t want to get his hopes up and risk his heart breaking again. Just because things make sense if he thinks about them one way, it doesn't meant they don't also make sense in another way.

But he can’t seem to help himself when it comes to Kim. 

He’s still so in love with him. 

He wants to talk to him all the time. He wants to see his face all the time. He wants Kim to keep sending him stupid memes, and pictures of his new cat, and links to things he thinks Porchay might like. 

He wants to show Kim his garden bed, and cook him dinner, and tell him about all the things he's learnt in the medical bay.

He wants to play music with him again. 

Porchay clicks to his favourites playlist on Spotify.

He hovers over one of the songs he recently added. 

It’s an older American song. When he first heard it, he immediately thought it was the sort of broody song with interesting hooks and a great melody that Kim would adore. 

He hesitates.

Fuck it, he thinks, and sends the link to Kim. 

Chay laughs out loud.

< Prev - Next >

First

[verdemoun]

Shitpost inspired. Can you imagine the emotions tho? Fuck the wheel, just. In general. Arthur sees his dead son. John sees his family. Hosea sees Bessie.

There's joy, there's tears, there's everything. But after that first moment, it doesn't stop, just shows itself in different ways. Everything that screams "don't leave me again", even though it wasn't anyone's choice.

Arthur sometimes checking on Isaac out of nowhere. He needs to know his son is still there. John, whatever everyone sees him as, is still a loving father and husband. He does the same. He needs to know they're there, safe, alive.

Bessie and Hosea is a story I don't think I need to tell, we all understand. But still.

Just. Small ways the trauma shows itself. The way they all say what they can't speak out loud.

This is why we can't have nice things

happy one week anniversary of the wheel woot woot also i can't believe i give you all a nice wholesome modern au with a twist and you're all sitting there like starving victorian children crying papa where is the angst

Sean is not allowed to say the words 'quick job' because Rhodes was meant to be a quick job and Lenny just sits by the door slowly spiraling into full blown hyperventilation thinking about the completely ordinary day when Sean's corpse came back to camp draped over Brown Jack.

Arthur and Isaac. Not only is Arthur very serious about never putting Isaac down or out of his sight again but actually seeing his dad again brings up so much anxiety for Isaac. He doesn't want him to go away again either.

Arthur might sit for hours watching Isaac sleep when Isaac starts staying nights with him but also Isaac waking up in the middle of the night panicked. He might be 9 years old but very desperately needing his dad and to know where he is constantly.

Checking in on Isaac and vice versa is the main reason Arthur learned the importance of cell phones and keeping them charged because he will get a random phone call in the middle of the day when Isaac just wanted to hear his voice and have the assurance he hadn't vanished again. Calling each other at least three times a day at all hours.

John did not sleep for days after he first timewarped because he could not handle his daughter being out of sight. Closes his eyes for a second on the couch in sheer exhaustion only to jump up and frantically look around for her. Uncle actually serving a purpose he won't even drink when John asks him to watch Addie: he needs to know someone is watching his precious daughter so he can relax enough to sleep.

Abigail thinks she is fine and life is perfect now that she has her family back all together again, but sometimes John comes back from the store or helping Charles with a job to her just silently sobbing on the couch because she was so convinced something happened to him.

Hosea and Bessie. Unless Hosea has something/someone else to worry about he needs to be with Bessie because he will obsessively think he's going to lose her again without constant distraction. Bring your husband to work day everyday because she also just missed him so much it's not the palpable anxiety but just grief.

Jack is the biggest co-sleeper. He is used to sharing his space. They thought it would be so exciting modern era he finally has his own room and instead it's just - he cannot sleep without knowing someone is there. The only times he had a room to himself was a) Beecher's Hope before Addie was born (he shared a room with the baby and was the most doting big brother) b) Beecher's Hope after Addie died (uncomfortably quiet) and c) Beecher's Hope after Abigail died. After John's death he was so worried about his mother he accidentally fell back into the habit of sleeping in bed with her because they were both all the other had and then he lost her.

Abigail admittedly went straight back to sleeping in Jack's room for a few weeks after he timewarped because she was just so sad to have her son back so soon, so young. And he needed it. Takes a white noise machine or music for him to sleep if there's no one there because sleeping alone has always meant displacement or mourning.

Isaac doesn't have a guest room so every time he crashes there it's a routine of pillow walls 'stay on your side of the bed, morgan' 'it's my bed, marston' only to be starfish sprawled arm around each other in their sleep. Very much one of the unacknowledged reasons he spends so much time at Isaac's.

Not only Kieran needing routine but everyone needing to know Kieran's routine because they feel a compulsion to check on him every once in a while just in case because of the guilt of not doing enough the first time he went missing when it SHOULD have been a massive red flag in 1899.

[theycallmebun]

winter solstice

timeskip! sugawara koshi x gn! reader

w/c: 785

genre: fluff!!!

summary: the winter solstice is tonight which means the days finally start to get longer again! but let's reflect on the goodness these cold and dark days brought :)

warnings: timeskip, like one slight hint of suggestiveness, very little dialogue

a/n: lowkey just me rambling(shitpost) but i think this is so cute

the winter solstice is tonight and you could not bring it in you to rest. the winter solstice being the shortest day of the year, of course. meaning that after this day, the seemingly few hours of the fleeting sunlight would grow longer–less fleeting, more lingering.

you and sugawara could not be more elated. after having what felt like days where the sunshine stuck around for a quick hello and goodbye, which quite literally led to your darkest hours, you could not wait to have longer days to relish in. though, you have to admit that the start of this winter season deserves more credit than you give it. 

as a means to adapt, you and sugawara learned to embrace the cold and darkness. 

when the cold came, you found out that sugawara was actually a magnificent source of heat. it brought out the affectionate side in both of you. Because your relationship was relatively fresh, you guys had held back on being physical, not wanting to scare the other away or come off as clingy. if anything though, the cold taught you that you are both so so so clingy. one night, when sugawara went to hang out with you at your apartment and the morning soon turned to evening, by the time 7 o’clock hit, you deemed it too cold for him to go back to his place and invited him to sleep over. your first couple sleep over! so exciting! of course he wasn’t going to say no to you. 

when you settled in your bed, you were positioned so that your back was pressed against sugawara’s chest. the little spoon, if you will. the heat radiating from his chest onto your back could lull you to sleep in minutes. you reached back to hold his hands to find his fingers about a degree shy of freezing, holy god were his fingers cold. 

“sorry,” he whispered in your ear. “bad circulation, i guess,” he laughed, but he was actually nervous about making you cold wth them. poor guy. 

“that’s alright, here let me just–” you cut yourself off with the action of grabbing his hand and bringing it under your shirt to rest atop your belly. it only took a couple minutes for his fingers to warm up, but he wanted to keep his hand there. something about your plush skin being extremely comfortable. the two of you stayed in that position the entire night. grounded would be a good word to describe how you guys felt. 

in the darkness that these winter nights brought, you and sugawara were able to explore in more senses than one would imagine. for cutesy little date nights, the two of you would be able to explore the night sky. neither of you being well-versed in stars, you took it upon yourselves to name your own constellations after nonsensical things. 

during more of the nights sugawara would spend cozy behind you in bed, you guys would have these conversations about anything and everything at all. he learned most of what he knows about you on those nights, and you the same. on nights where the topics would be so complex, you would have to turn around to face him. even though it was dark, he could see the way your eyebrows would furrow with the passion you were speaking with. sugawara was always tempted to press a finger between the brows to smooth out the tension but he would wait until you were done talking as a means to not interrupt your flow. when he did so, he would make conversation with what you just told him, building on it or telling you how he felt about it in particular. it was on a particular dark night like that when he was massaging the inner corners of your eye brows when he said, 

“i love you”

for the first time. without hesitance you reciprocated with an, “i love you, koshi,” before placing a light kiss on his left cheek, his right cheek, and then finally his lips. not that it was the first kiss between you or anything, but sugawara can cherish every kiss as if it were the first–each one so very precious. the love you have for each other was also explored in other ways on those cold, dark winter nights. 

alas, it is time to say goodbye to such short and dark nights and welcome longer and brighter days. instead of heading to bed at the normal time the two of you do, you and sugawara light candles by your kitchen window to welcome the return of the light. oh, what days do the rest of the seasons have in store for you.  

a/n: thanks for reading if you did! hope you enjoyed reading as much as i did writing T-T also i am so excited for the days to get longer

[streetslost]

cat is a cutie, don’t like if you agree ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

[muchtimeago]

Finally finished editing Jeanne’s Riyo fish flag. Imagine waving that around in color guard or something

[captain-k8kat]

ANTLER BROS!!!

brador is mentally scalping the beast

[pianocat939]

Could we please get more of the yandere rottmnt with a younger sibling reader?

Sure! I've been kinda laughing for a while now over some random shitposting haha.

Tw: mention of murder, overprotective behaviour, controlling behaviour, crack and fluff

Some Hcs with Yandere Turtles with Younger Sibling MC

(MC is a turtle mutant for those who don't know)

✦Ramona✦

As we all know, he's the mama of the group. That solo mission episode where Mikey got babied at times? Yeah take that but amp it up.

He likes to carry you around just so he knows where you are and what you're doing. He especially does this if you're in the Hidden City.

Works together with Mikey and Donnie to have a nutrition management system. Primarily because he has a habit of spoiling you.

Bedtime at 10. No questions asked.

"No, you are not going to stay up until 3 AM giggling at videos on social media. Now, bed."

Asian kids, you know how your mom/dad just walks in and randomly gives you cut-up fruits? That's him. Gives you a hug when he leaves.

You are not allowed to touch hot foods/containers, let big bro handle it.

✦Le' bottomsworth✦

The spoiler/rule breaker brother ig.

You need to buy/get something but aren't allowed to leave? He has you covered, just say the word and he's sassily homosexual walking over there.

Teaches you sword art when you guys are free. Lets you win before going in for the "kill".

If you can't sleep bcs it's too early/insomnia then he'll know. He teleports or pokes a head through and keeps you company.

"Yeah so um. Do you have any dirt on Donnie? I need something good to attack him with."

You guys break rules together. It pisses both Raph and Donnie.

Texts you memes at 3 AM with 13 emojis alongside.

If you ever speak about a friend he'll get jealous real quick. He'll start interrogating you and makes up his mind to frame them somehow.

He teaches you self-defense yet does everything to ensure he does most of the actual fighting. He's not risking it.

✦Da Hermione Granger but in Purple✦

Builds you a protective shell whether you like it or not. You will wear it at all times other than sleeping. Oh did I mention there's a camera on the back side?

I know siblings aren't supposed to have favorites but Donnie will have a personal beef meter with Leo. (Right? I'm an only child so idk)

"I'm the favorite. Why else would they come to me every day? Leo, you stand nothing against me."

Tries to teach you about his tech, not only because it's his special interest but so he can brag he's the better parental-brother (oh and favorites).

Loves playing video games with you.

If he doesn't like certain media on your phone/devices he'll eliminate them. Including some of the memes Leo sent.

Shares his playlist like it's the last thing on earth to do.

If you like an interest in something and he notices it he'll buy/invent stuff.

✦Mi Left Gripper✦

Aww, it's your twin. Welp time to activate clingy af.

He whines if he isn't in the same room as you, to the point Raph and Leo have to pry him off.

Loves cooking your favorite meals! It's his way of showing that he loves you so much and that everybody else should burn away.

Draws you a lot too. If you're an artist he likes exchanging art styles, portraits, anything really.

Freaks the fuck out if sees even the slightest inconvenience in front of you.

"OMIGOSH! YOU STUBBED YOUR TOE! DONNIE, EMERGENCY CALL!"

Do you like fashion? If so, please exchange outfits with him so he can take the clothing to his secret shrine of his adorable twin!

Will jump on top of you to wake you up.

✦All✦

No leaving the lair without a trusted member of the family.

Friends can only be friends after background checks and approval.

Daily head pats are a must.

——————————————————

That was really on crack ok. Do you guys like the names I chose? I used all my brain cells for "Mi Left Gripper".

- Celina

[tragedytells-tales]

Hi! Could you write some headcanons for the brothers and maybe undateables, where the MC is a chaotic teenager who decides they need to be able to kick a demon's ass? Like one day they just go online and become a priest (you fill out a form and pay a fee, it's wild), and start annointing things. Random lesser demon gets peckish and tries to eat them? Holy water spray bottle. Somebody's talking smack? Crucifix. They just want to fight a demon for the sheer power play? They blessed a butter knife and it is far too effective a weapon. When they're mad at the brothers they hang a cross on the door, the whole nine yards. Found a bible somehow. (Srry for the long ask ;-;)

Tragedy sat at their desk with pen in hand when a book began to materialize itself in their hands.

They wheezed out a cackle while twirling the pen. "This is awesome! Your wish is my command!"

How Bad Can it Be?

Notes - GN!MC , Teen!MC, Hurt/comfort with a shitpost on the side, Feat. The brothers, The royals, purgatory hall, Gidorah, Candy, Luka, Unnamed classmates

Summary - I mean, you gotta do what ya gotta do to protect yourself in a world of demons! Who says you can't have fun along the way?

Warnings - strong language and minor injuries

Tw - none?

MC flinched and winced through their teeth. It didn't particularly hurt, but the cold water still wasn't particularly pleasant on their skin. Simeon silently apologized with his eyes and finished wrapping their cut. "There, all better."

Luke huffed, face burning red with anger, and plopped next to MC. "I still can't believe that demon had the nerve to attack you like that!" He grabbed MCs hand and continued grumbling even as he looked them over.

Simeon sighed with from his place in the bathroom, "I'll leave you to tending to them, I'm sure Diavolo has some interesting things to say about this as well." He placed the first aid kit away and strode over to the door. "You two be sure to text either me or Solomon if you need anything!"

MC crossed their arms and watched the wall, "You got it big sib." Simeon watched MCs downcast eyes go slightly dimmer and frowned. He made sure to lock the door and shot Luke a text before getting in the car with Solomon.

[ Simeon: Luke, try to cheer up MC please? They don't seem to be doing well. ] Read : 5:12

[ Luke: Of course! ] Read : 5:12

Luke placed his D.D.D on his nightstand and bound over to MC. They sat in silence for a few seconds before his expression shifted into a pout. "MC what's wrong, and don't try to lie to an angel!" MC chewed on their lip and huffed. They fell back onto the plush bed, "I don't know man, I guess I just find it stupid."

"Hm, find what stupid?"

MC crossed their arms, "How much I have to rely on you guys for things? Like come on, basic self defense should not be THAT hard." They grumbled with a furrowed brow. Luke let out a troubled sigh and thought for a second.

"Well," He grabbed MCs hand with his glowing ones ",although I don't mind you relying on me, I could bless you so you have a higher defense against demons!"

MC thanked him and sat up. They watched Lukes' magic blend with their skin with interest. "How does blessing me help with defense against demons by the way?" Luke smiled and began explaining while also trying to focus on the task at hand. "Well, it'll work with celestial magic or item! All you have to do is bless or annoint something with celestial magic or a celestial item! Then that thing, or person, will instantly become demon-proof!"

"Huh," MC hummed, a light bulb went off "any item?" Luke nodded and dusted the excess magic off his hands. "Yup! It just has to be some celestial related!"

A mischievous smirk grew on MCs face. They thought to themselves and chuckled.

"Interesting."

"'How to become a Christian in 1 quick form and 5 easy steps, includes a demon proof premium package below'... yeah, I'm not to sure this is a good idea."

MC rolled their eyes at Lukas hesitation. "How bad could it possibly be! Besides, who says it'll work?"

"I don't see anything wrong with it," Candy said as she leaned over to look at the computer screen, "I mean, ya gotta do whatcha gotta do! And if we're able to say things like 'pray' and drink diluted holy water, who's to say if those human world items will do anything?"

Gidorah just nodded from their place at MCs desk. "See!" MC said while gesturing over in Gidorahs direction "Even they agree and they're the group realist! Think of it as a really bad science experiment."

Luka grumbled something about MC quoting the lorax and shook his head. He rolled his eyes while shrugged. "Alright, go for it. But Lord Lucifer is probably going to find out eventually."

MC just waved off his warning while speeding through the website. Sure, it didn't seem the most legit but it did seem the most fun.

So, with all common sense aside and two very supportive and one probably right friend at their side. They selected their order date, entered Lucifers information, and ordered.

"Btw, do you think angels just get drunk off their asses on holy water all the time since it's not diluted there?" Candy questioned

"Ask Simeon," MC shrugged "He probably knows since it's five o'clock somewhere."

Lucifer raised an eyebrow at a notification for an order conformation. He debated actually investigating who could possibly be behind this before remembering Levi ranting about some new game that morning and shrugging it off.

So he wasn't exactly suprised when two packages showed up at the door the next day. He was, however, suprised by just how uncomfortable the second package made him. He knocked on Levis door only to take note of the anxious glace he shot at the second package as well.

Lucifer left Levi to his own devices and turned away from his door. He read the name on the second package and raised a brow. He carefully knocked on MCs door only to immediately enter right after. MC peaked their head out while upside down in their tree and waved.

Lucifer opened and closed his mouth with bewilderment before settling on, "why?" MC hopped down from their tree and shrugged, "Why not?"

He sighed and used two fingers to rub at his temples. He dismissed it as a topic for later and handed MC their package. MCs eyes beamed while they nearly snatched it out of his hands. He carefully watched their movements and asked "What exactly did you order MC?"

The teen just shrugged and gestured towards the box, "It's supplies for a science experiment!" Lucifer narrowed his eyes and leveled MC with a suspicious glare. "What kind of science experiment, MC."

MC raised an eyebrow at his tone and stared at him with their own challenging smile. "Nothing that you need to worry about. It's not even that dangerous!"

Lucifer kept up his glowering before he resigned. He closed his eyes and grumbled something about getting grounded under his breath. He took a deep inhale and stared down MC, who flashed him an innocent smile, and shook his head.

"Okay, just don't burn anything down this time."

"It was but a single plant."

"That burned down nonetheless. Now, I'm off to make dinner."

MC watched the demon walk off and waited for the door to be fully shut before glancing back at their package. They locked their door and sent a text warning the brothers that they might be late to dinner.

MC ungraciously ripped open the package and the first thing they pulled out was a really extravagant and heavy priest Halloween costume.

"...yeah, not wearing that."

They then took out and organized their arsenal of objects and nodded. Holy water and a spray bottle, a cross, a more detailed cross, a random butter knife, and a funky lookin bible.... fair enough.

"Hehe, it's go time."

So, MC can now say from experience that it is incredibly boring to wait while the old men discuss something. Was wondering off really the best solution for it? No. Not at all.

Although, many of the demons simply didn't pay MC any mind. And if they did then they grimaced in discomfort and scurried off, sometimes to a different side of the sidewalk. MC didn't know wether it was the holy water on their hip or the fact that anyone who got to close got their soul drilled into by three different pairs of eyes.

"But there's always that one asshole."

"Watch your mouth and respect your elders, human brat."

MC stood in a defensive stance. They thought about yelling out for Lucifer, Mammon, or Levi but the demon towering in front of them seemed pretty determined to not let that happen. Their eyes darted around rapidly for an escape only to find that it was no use. The built-like-a-brick dude could catch up to them in a matter of seconds. And aiming below the belt won't work, too short.

They felt their heart beat at 100bpm as increased adrenaline went unused. They shook out their limbs and prepared for a fight but-

"I'd suggest backing away."

"Too nice, hell, I order ya too you fuckin creep!"

"Imagine being so low that you attack a child for their soul. Pathetic."

- Oh yeah, they were here with three of the demon lords. The demon flinched back from MC, not enough space to escape, but it was space nonetheless. The demon directed their attention to their lords and laughed it off, "Me and the kid were just exchanging a few kind words is all! Nothin to be worried about my lords." The demon went for a pat on the back but MC flinched back.

MC attempted to match the demons glare, and yet, nothing could match the heat that it held. They turned their head to see where the brothers were and just as they thought.

They're too far to reach them in time if this goes sideways.

The argument quickly became drowned out by their heart racing in their ears. Of all the ways they could go out, they just had to run into the most boring one. MC frowned and tried to find some way out of this when the demons hand clamped onto their shoulder. Ironically, nearly at eye level... they had holy water.

"Well," MC said as they reached for their hip "It's now or never." The demon caught on a bit to late as MC whipped out the spray bottle and aimed it directly for the demons eyes.

"Yippe-ki-yay mother-sucker!"

"What the hell- SON OF A-"

"MC NOW!"

The demon let go of MC in favor of clawing at their eyes. They stumbled back a few feet and MC took their chance to dart for Mammon who immediately cradled them in his arms and checked them over while scolding them for wandering off.

In the living room of their home, when nerves were settled and the zoomies were finished, Lucifer took a quick look at MCs spray bottle. Mammon, who now refuses to let the kid go, eye'd it as well. "Oi gem, where'd ya get that spray bottle from anyway?"

Levi perked up from his place on the floor, "And why do you have holy water?" MC paused the game they were playing to look up. "Oh that?" They pointed to they slightly decorated spray bottle "I got it to help with self defense, why is it dangerous or something?"

"No." Lucifer answered "Although it is a surprisingly good weapon, it wouldn't function the same as holy water from the celestial realm." MC peaked over Mammons shoulder and tilted their head at Lucifer. "How so?"

Lucifer uncapped the spray bottle and dipped his finger in, It itched slightly through his glove but it didn't burn. "It wouldn't function as the human realm depicts it, For example we wouldn't melt or burst into flames. But it would cause a burning sensation and other side effects depending on how it's inflicted and where it's applied."

MC hummed in thought. They snapped their fingers and nodded, "so kinda like an over glorified pepper spray except holy?" Levi shrugged and shot a thumbs up, "Yeah basically."

"I don't see why they can't have it on em." Mammon said while fixing his position, "It makes for good defense, even if they don't have to worry about it with the great Mammon around!" He exclaimed while trapping MC in a bear hug. Lucifer chuckled to himself as MC shoved Mammon off the couch and onto Levi, which in turn caused the two to fight.

He re-capped the holy water in a more discreet bottle and slipped it into MCs backpack.

Maybe the extra protection was a good thing.

MCs leg was rapidly increasing in tapping speed, the whispering was extremely nerve grating. "It's all fun and games until I commit mass acts of violence and mayhem." They grumbled while side glaring the seat behind them. "I could just sock em for you." Candy suggested. "And get detention for no reason? I don't think so, sit down." Luka shot down.

"You've gotta admit though," Gidorah said while taking a seat next to MC ", The rumors areee getting annoying." MC turned to Gidorah and huffed "And increasingly exaggerated. This would be the 4th person I've had a crush on this week."

Candy bit into her lollipop while the three debated what to do about it. She leaned back in her seat and caught a glimpse of the cross in MCs bag. "Y'know," She said while pulling it out "You could just stick this in their back pocket and see what happens."

Luka shot the object a nasty grimace and even leaned away from it and Gidorah just raised a brow with a slow nod. "Yup, that would work." MC watched Candys' hand for any reaction and shrugged. "Hmm, sure that should be interesting payback!"

MC summoned a levitation spell and shifted the cross between seats, feet, and tables before planting it in the persons' jacket. They watched as a few of the demons around them shifted uncomfortably in their seats while others outwardly started growling. The demon looked at their friends incredulously before rolling their eyes and walking off to their class.

So, MC took note of multiple things that day. Number one, watching Barbatos struggle to go near his lord is slightly entertaining. Two, Watching both the demon and Diavolo squirm from separate things is also slightly entertaining.

Barbatos continued to discretely scan the demon even while holding his normal expression while Diavolo even started to laugh awkwardly and crossed his arms.

"So, what has been going on with you two?" Daivolo asked.

The demon scoffed and gestured vaguely towards MC, "I don't know, ask them." MC raised an eyebrow and chuckled at the demons demeanor. "This dude's been spreading rumors about me all week. Not that it's harmful, kinda, it's just been getting annoying." MC said as they shrugged.

"Yeesh, someone can't take a few jokes." The demon mumbled under their breath. Barbatos leveled the demon with a glare despite the smile on his face. "May I remind you that you are in an empty room and your wispers can be heard. I would also suggest you adjust your attitude in front of his highness."

Diavolo shook his head and stared down the demon with dissapointment. "Joke or not, harmful rumors about your fellow students will not be tolerated."

The demon gawked at Diavolo and stuttered with suprise for a second. "What?! B-but-" Daivolo leveled them with a stare which quickly shut the demon up. "Barbatos take them to detention, MC you're free to go back to class."

"M'kay."

The other demoned whined on their way out before Barbatos picked them up by their hoodie. He shoved his hand into their pocket and pulled out the cross that MC had kinda forgotten was there.

He opened a portal to the detention room and turned to question MC. "MC, why did you place a cross on them?" Diavolo looked at MC with amusement and shock.

"Bad science experiment," MC answered with a shrug "that and they decided to talk shit while right behind me, so I'd call that fair!"

Barbatos sighed and shook his head. He tossed the cross back to MC and warned them against bringing it on school grounds again. Diavolo continued to chuckle despite this and waved it off. "You know what, I'll allow it. Just don't do it again."

Barbatos looked at his lord incredulously, "though I rarely question your judgment, why?"

"It was funny!"

"See," MC said while they also giggled "Dia knows best!"

Barbatos smiled and sighed. "Okay MC."

"How did you manage to convince Lucifer to let you walk cerberus?"

"With adult supervision."

"Does Simeon truly count as adult supervision?"

"Solomon!"

Solomon chuckled lightly at Lukes outrage while Simeon mumbled something about Solomon counting even less. MC didn't respond as they were busy attempting to launch a ball into the sun for the sake of the cerb.

Solomon eventually decided to help them by making the ball into a Lazer pointer dot and pointing it in different directions.

Simeon bit into another cookie and took note of the wrapped up burn on MCs hand. "MC, what's the story behind this?" He questioned while turning MCs hand over in his own. "That is a very good question." Solomon added, sensing the slight hint of celestial magic coming off the burn.

MC turned away from the game of fetch and put their hand back in their lap. "Well, I may or may not have touched a blessed butter knife with some demonic magic and in turn, got my as-" they heard Luke giggle at some flowers "- my arse handed to me by a butter knife."

Simeon simply started worrying over MCs burn while Solomon was still pondering as to how the hell they got their butter knife blessed.

"Why did you have a blessed butter knife?" Asked Luke with a hint of disbelief. MC thought about it for a second, they actually had no idea. "Just thought It'd be fun. And it was."

Luke opened his mouth to respond only to become speechless. Solomon was running out of air by now and Simeon was ever so slightly concerned. "Well that and belphi decided I needed more protection, so bam, a knife." MC said before getting blasted by grass from cerberus lying down.

Simeon and Luke both went silent with concern. "Why-" "Well, does it work?" Solomon interrupted. Luke pouted and huffed at Solomon for interrupting him and MC just nodded, "Suprisingly well for a butter knife too!" Solomon smiled proudly and nodded along. "Butter knives are very formidable weapons."

Luke rolled his eyes as the two humans discussed the lethality of the butterknife and walked over to lay on a now sleeping cerberus. Solomon threw in the option of getting MC an actual knife only to immediately get shot down by Simeon. "You never let me have any fun, grrrrr." MC whined playfully.

They eventually got up and decided that they too shall lay on the sleeping cerb, taking a spot right next to Luke on a giant paw.

Simeon and Solomon exchanged serious glances and got to work on an actual weapon for MC.

They were going to question where the celestial decorated pen came from, but the ink was cool so they decided not to question it.

"MC, TAKE THE CROSS OFF OF THIS DOOR RIGHT NOW."

"GIVE ME BACK MY MNMS THEN YOU COWARDS!"

"I CAN'T, THERE'S A SALT CIRCLE AROUND THE DOOR."

"SUCKS TO SUCK PAL!"

"MC-"

Beelzebub watched Satan and MC yell at eachother through the door for a few more minutes before trying to play mediator. Belphi eventually decided to add fuel to the flames by pointing out that the MnMs got mixed with skittles, which MC was not pleased with.

Asmo sat a few feet away, chuckling at the sight of Satan being bullied by the resident child. Beel was the only one to question where MC got the cross from and only got shrugs in response.

"BE GONE EVIL SPIRIT!"

"THATS NOT EVEN THE RIGHT THING, WHAT-"

Belphi eventually got bored and decided to help his brother by knocking on a wall and asking MC if they wanted more MnMs. They sniffed dramatically and grumbled yes before dubbing him as their favorite.

Asmo groaned as Belphi flicked them off on his way through the portal for MnMs, "be back in a sec nerd!" "He's gonna be bragging about that for weeks." Asmo complained while striding towards MCs door.

"MC, darling?"

"Yeah?"

"This cross on your door is fugly as hell, my child!"

"WHAT- LEAVE MY DOOR ALONE!?"

"Absolutely not! Off it comes!"

Satan watched with great interest as Asmo simply yanked the cross off the door only to then replace it with a slightly more thematic one. "We can just touch crosses?"

Beel nodded and popped a piece of chocolate into his mouth. "Yeah," he answered "Only if it's from the human realm though. I wouldn't suggest touching one from the celestial realm."

"I'm back with the goods."

Belphi announced his presence and knocked on the door. "What kind of goods?" MC questioned. Belphi rolled his eyes and read the label of the demonfide MnMs, "uhhh, a mix of dark chocolate, dark chocolate with mint, milk chocolate, and milk chocolate with caramel."

A vacuum rang out around the hallway and the brothers watched the salt dissapear beneath the door and into the void. A smiling MC is their first sight when the door finally opens, well that and a pillow fort with some MnMs in it.

"Wait" Satan starts as he looks around the decorated room "so all of that was-" "just to give me time to decorate for little sibling night? Absolutely."

Satan chuckles and flashes MCs a proud and disbelieving smile. "You're going to have to up your game Satan!" Asmo remarked as he made himself comfortable on one of the pillows. MC took their MnMs and placed themself on a bean bag with Belphi and Beel.

"Fine, you win this time kit."

"I always do!"

A few minutes later, and a couple songs from Turning Red, Beel actually did ask MC where they got the crosses from.

They simply shrugged and told them of their adventures these last few days. Satan said that the science experiment wasn't half bad and Asmo even questioned the blessed butterknife. Although Beel wasn't too happy about the whole getting attacked and bullied thing, Belphi made sure to reassure him that MC turned out fine in the end. It didn't exactly work, but it's the thought that counts!

- - - - - - - - - - -

( Here comes the boy! )

[ Luke: wait so, this entire week you've been using celestial realm items from the human against demons just to see what would happen? ] Read : 7:23

[ MC: Yeah, pretty much! ] Read : 7:24

[ Luke: So then, what happened? ] Read : 7:24

[ MC: you'd be surprised, it wasn't actually that bad! ] Read : 7:25

[ . . . 🖊 ]

Bonus:

( Me n the Lads )

[ Lucifer: Alright, who did it. ] Read 6 : 3:12

[ Lucifer: Who glued the Bible to my desk. ] Read 6 : 3:12

[ Mammon: * sticker sent * ] Read 6 : 3:13

[ Leviathan: lol get rekt ] Read 6 : 3:14

[ Asmodeus: Can't you just take it off? ] Read 6 : 3:15

[ Lucifer: No. It's weakly blessed and has a protective spell in it. ] Read 6 : 3:16

[ Leviathan: There's currently only one person in the house with a Bible! ] Read 6 : 3:16

[ Beelzebub: MC? ] Read 6 : 3:17

[ MC: nope! I glued that one to the Demoneus cabinet! ] Read 6 : 3:18

[ Mammon: That was you?! ] Read 6 : 3:18

[ MC: Yes. Yes it was. ] Read 6 : 3:18

[ Lucifer: we'll discuss that later. Either someone step up or your all punished. ] Read 6 : 3:19

[ Leviathan: two of us have been real quiet, just sayin ] Read 8 : 3:20

[ Satan: Shut up Levi! ] Read 8 : 3:20

[ Belphegor: snitch. ] Read 8 : 3:20

[ Lucifer: You two. My office. now. ] Read 8 : 3:21

[ Satan: grrrrr ] Read 8 : 3:21

[ Belphegor: Fineeeee ] Read 8 : 3:22

[ Leviathan: * sticker sent * ] Read 8 : 3:22

[ MC: Hey Levi, didn't you recently learn protection spells for Satan in exchange for a favor you owed? ] Read 8 : 3:24

[ Mammon: Oh shit! ] Read 8 : 3:24

[ Lucifer: Leviiiiiii? ] Read 8 : 3:25

[ Leviathan: uh oh.... ] Read 8 : 3:26

[ Beelzebub: I think I just heard screaming... ] Read 5 : 3:29

[ MC: meh, he loves his brothers. How bad could it be? ] Read 5 : 3:32

AN - I decided to make it a fic-let instead for the sake of the flow so I hope you don't mind! I hope you enjoy this just as much as I enjoyed writing it! It was a really interesting concept!

Divider credit - X

[bestiesenpai]

youtuber Sukuna

I beg you to read the shitposts I made about this, they are delicious. You don’t have to of course but...if you loved me you would :) s/n = screen name, and I hope you chuckle at Sukunas screen name

Content warning: uhmhm lowkey incel shit(mean internet comments and whatnot)

part two --- part 3

Name: Sukuna. Age: 25. Height: 6 foot 5 inches. Occupation: toxic Youtuber, fitness trainer and hot guy.

Sukuna wasn’t exactly known for being kind. He wasn’t nice to others, rarely having anything good to say about anyone, and he’d made a successful Youtube career out of it. First starting as a fitness trainer at his gym, through encouragement from his clients and the notion of a quick cash grab, he started Youtube.

He didn’t care about it and that reflected in the quality of his videos and editing. He didn’t have consistent uploads, just filming and posting videos whenever he wanted, analytics be fucked. But somehow, that worked out for him, and he quickly found himself with over two million subscribers just frothing at the mouth for his next video.

And those subscribers were some of the worst people. Sukuna didn’t care about fostering a safe space online for others, not in the slightest. His comment sections were atrocious, both on his Youtube and his Instagram. It was full of toxic men one-upping each other constantly and dragging on each other for not being able to work out as much as Sukuna did.

Sukuna was a large part of why his fanbase were so toxic. He himself often made bad comments about others, whether fellow creators or people that happened to appear in the backgrounds of his videos, and on more than one occasion he’d been ‘cancelled’. None of that mattered though, all he cared about was shitting on other people and making money.

Sometimes he played video games and posted it, but not too often. Sukuna often stated he wasn’t so much of a fucking lonely loser that he’d play video games all the time, and so the gaming videos he did post were few and far between. He played angry shooter games and GTA, mindless button clicking he could get lost in for a few hours for a video.

Laying in bed one night after uploading his most recent video, one where he rages at 12 year olds on GTA online, Sukuna was just scrolling through his phone mindlessly. After he uploads video game content, like clockwork, he gets recommendations for gaming channels. He only watches a few of them, mostly leaving mean comments saying what losers they are, but one catches his eye.

He’s never been recommended this kind of video before. The thumbnail is light and bright with some pink aesthetic lights in the back. But the most enticing thing is the person in the middle, cute pink cat ear headphones on and a bright smile.

“Let’s see…” Sukuna mumbles to himself, mindlessly clicking the video. He hasn’t even read the title, he only clicked it because they were cute, and here he is nearly blinded by the bright setup they have.

“Hi everyone, it’s (Y/N) here and I’m really excited today! We’re going to be playing this new game I found!” Sukuna is immediately enraptured by the sound of your voice, watching how your face changes as you talk. His eyes drift off to the decor behind you, cute plushies and healthy plants, and some twinkling fairy lights. There’s books as well, and your chair is one of those ergonomic gamer chairs he has as well but in pink.

Sukuna watches the video dumbly, totally in the dark about whatever you’re doing, but loving it all the same. All he knows is that he likes the sound of your voice, and when you laugh and smile at a funny part in the game, it makes a light flush come to his cheeks.

It only takes one video for Sukuna to spiral into more of your content. He watches a video on your gaming setup, and he’s surprised that so much technology can come in pink. He watches a video on how you edit, a few of you cooking in your kitchen, and even a few vlog videos.

He quickly subscribes to your channel, and when you plug your social media, he immediately goes there. Pulling up your Instagram, he stares at your profile picture and almost audibly coos at you for being cute.

Your profile is just as cute as your videos are and Sukuna barely remembers to follow you before he’s going through your whole feed, liking every picture he sees. Sometimes he leaves comments, only one word though, ‘cute’. He’s never liked something so outright cute before, it wasn’t who he was and it definitely didn’t fit with his brand.

Falling asleep after following you on every platform, Sukuna wakes up thinking about you as well. And he also wakes up to hundreds of comments from all his accounts, bombarding him with questions and screenshots from last night.

‘SUKUNA WHY WOULD YOU LIKE THIS SHIT?!’

‘OMG Sukuna liked (Y/N)s posts!!’

‘Sukuna is so gross and toxic, you better stay away from (Y/N)!’

‘SUKUNA YOU GAY NOW’

‘EW why the fuck do you like this bitch?’

There were hundreds of comments that he waded through. Most were from his fans, expressing disgust at how many photos of yours he’d liked and wondering why he, Sukuna, most heterosexual alpha male on the planet, would like a pretty in pink Youtuber who had bubbly intros and whined when their animal crossing villagers wanted to move away.

Other comments were from your fans, some in awe that he would like you considering how much he said he hated overly cute things. Other fans expressed concern, worried what this might mean for their favorite Youtuber. Did Sukuna want to cause problems, potentially hurting you? He did have a reputation of bullying others, so this wasn’t far fetched.

Checking your Instagram, you didn’t make any comment about it. There wasn’t any update or anything, but on his end he was being tagged in endless Twitter threads with screenshots of him liking your posts and commenting under them.

“For fucks sake.” He grunted, clenching his phone in his hands. The amount of notifications he was getting were starting to upset him and he nearly threw his phone to get them to stop.

Ignoring his phone for the rest of the day, Sukuna went to the gym like he always did and trained with his clients. Some of them brought it up to him, asking him if he had a mind break last night and forgot what he was doing. Sending them harsh glares, Sukuna refused to talk about it.

“Oh my fucking god.” Sukuna nearly wailed when he got home, finally checking his phone. His name and yours had begun trending, and the hashtag #protect(Y/N) was also. Muttering angrily under his breath, Sukuna turned on Instagram live.

“Okay what the fuck!” He shouted, seeing the live become instantly flooded with people all screaming about you and him. “You’re all fucking annoying, you know that?” Glaring harshly at the camera, he read some of the comments that went by.

‘WHY’D YOU LIKE (Y/N)S POSTS FROM 2017’

‘Are you two secretly dating??’

‘COLLAB!’

“Who gives a shit why I liked their stuff, you’re a fucking weirdo for keeping track of me. And we aren’t secretly dating, dipshits.” Rolling his eyes, Sukuna scoffed as more comments came in begging for a collaboration. “And think about it you morons, why would we collab? Our shit is too fucking different, what would we even film about?”

Sukuna stayed on Instagram live for nearly an hour answering questions asking about you. Every time he had to answer that you weren’t secretly dating, he got a little more annoyed. Not at the comments themselves but at the fact that it was true; you didn’t even know he existed.

Ending the live in a huff, Sukuna didn’t feel any better than before, and it was made even worse by the fact that everything he said was being relayed to Twitter, and you were tagged in every tweet.

“These idiots!” Staring at his phone, Sukuna couldn’t believe what he was seeing. On your Instagram stories, you’d posted a q&a for your followers, and nearly all of the comments were about Sukuna.

“Hi everyone! No, me and Sukuna aren’t dating!” You said, laughing a little to ease how uncomfortable you were. “To be honest, I’ve never even heard of him before! As you know, my content is very...different from his, so our circles don’t exactly intersect. But I’m always happy to have new followers and potential friends!”

“Fuck me.” Sukuna groaned, cringing at how uncomfortable you looked having to address the sudden onslaught of questions. For once he wished he’d actually given a shit about his online presence, so that maybe one day your circles could intersect. He knew he scared you, he scared a lot of people, and this was just proof.

“Uh, Sukuna if you see this, hi it’s nice to meet you!” You said in the next slide, puffing out your cheeks and waving cutely at the camera. It made Sukuna blush, and he hated it. “Thank you for following me and liking my content! I was very surprised that you found me!”

“Of course I did, idiot, you’re fucking cute.” He muttered under his breath.

“I know a lot of people are asking for us to do a video together and I know our content is really different, so don’t feel pressured to respond or anything, but the offer is open! If you’d like, we can collab on something.”

“On what?” He asked like you were there.

“I cook sometimes, and I know you cook too! Maybe we can make a cooking video? You can teach me how to make healthy food or something!” Sukuna could tell a fake laugh when he heard one, and you definitely had one right now. “Anyways, thank you! Bye Sukuna!” But hearing you say his name cutely like that made him not care.

He nearly responded right away, accepting the collab offer now that you’d spoken about it, but he didn’t want to seem desperate. He watched through the rest of your Instagram stories, going back and replaying the parts where you talked about him over and over and his heart clenched every time when you said his name.

In the dead of night, Sukuna DM’s you after watching your latest video and leaving the simple comment ‘check your DM’s’.

“Fuck, what should I say?” He’s suddenly stumped as he looks at the keyboard. Typing and retyping a message, in the end all he can say is hi. He doesn’t expect a reply, ever, but when he gets a vibration on his phone two seconds later he jumps to read it.

(S/N): hi Sukuna! :)

(cursedgod): hey

Real fucking smart, repeating what he just said.

(S/N): is there something you wanted to talk to me about?

(S/N): I hope you haven’t been annoyed at all the notifications you’ve been getting!

(cursedgod): No it’s okay

(cursedgod): we can collab if you want

Good Sukuna, good. Play it cool, don’t let them know that your fingers are actually trembling because you’re nervous.

(S/N): do you want to?? I don’t want to pressure you! I know we’re pretty different haha

(cursedgod): yeah, let's do it. Cooking?

(S/N): sure!

Looking around his home, he was suddenly assaulted with the fact that he didn’t have any furniture. He barely had a proper bedroom, just a mattress on a bare frame and a dresser. His lounge room was the same with his computer setup in one corner and then nothing else. There was only a couch, a mounted TV and a fold out table and chairs for his dining room.

(cursedgod): I know a studio kitchen we can use, I’ll send you the address

Thank god he’d done promo work for a brand in a studio one day, otherwise he’d be fucked.

(S/N): awesome! I’m free next Saturday!

And just like that, it was a date. Well, a meeting. Sukuna knew it wasn’t a date, but his heart still thumped like it was one. Confirming the time, he ended the conversation with a curt goodbye and obsessed about it throughout the night.

When the day to meet you came, Sukuna nearly ran late trying to pick out his clothes. He’d never cared about looking good or presenting himself well in front of others, whatever version of him he turned up in was what they got. But for you, he wanted to try a little harder.

Waiting outside the studio space, Sukuna rubbed his hands together nervously. You’d messaged a day or two ago offering to put the video on your channel since it probably wouldn’t fit his aesthetic, so he didn’t have to bring his shitty camera equipment.

“S-sukuna?” Snapping his head up, Sukunas mouth fell open looking at your curious face a few feet away, an Uber driving off behind you. You were even cuter in person, just his fucking luck. How was he expected to act like a normal person when his recent obsession was here looking better than he could have imagined.

“Hi.” What comes out is a grunt, not the smooth word he’d hoped. He can see you eyeing him up, taking in all the thick and corded muscles of his body. It made his chest puff out a little, he worked hard for this physique and to have you so openly looking at him made him happy.

“It’s nice to meet you!” Sticking your hand out, you smiled politely at him.

“Same.” Shaking your hand with a firm grip, Sukuna could feel the difference in your palms. Yours was soft and nicely moisturized and he had callouses everywhere and a few cuts and scrapes.

Opening the door for you, Sukuna led you to the studio space he’d rented out. It was a clean and modern kitchen, not unlike his own, but it had appliances and looked actually lived in. Helping you set up a few camera angles, Sukuna felt a pang of nerves hit him in the stomach.

“Sukuna, can we take a picture together?” You asked before starting, and Sukunas brow furrowed deeply. Why would you want to take a picture with him? His expression must have scared you, because you quickly backtracked. “F-for promo for this video, on Instagram and stuff!”

“Sure.” God, did he feel bad or what. He shouldn’t have made that face at you, now you wouldn’t look him in the eye. Crouching down to get the right angle for you, Sukuna watched you pick a cute animal filter.

“Just do what I do.” Throwing up a peace sign, you cutely tilted your head from side to side and smiled. Sukuna tried to do the same but he looked awkward, and most of all he was blushing pretty bad.

You snapped a multitude of pictures, some at different angles and some with different filters, and in all of them Sukuna was blushing at least a little. He managed to smile more as it went on, even laughing at one of the filters.

“Thanks! I’m going to post these really quick and then we can get started!” Giving him a brief smile, you turned back to your phone and set about editing some of the pictures. Looking over your shoulder, Sukuna could see that he looked like a blushing high schooler meeting their idol for the first time and not a grown man.

Once the photos were posted and you tagged him in everything, it was time to start. Setting up your marks on the floor, you took a generous drink of water and cleared your throat.

“Are you ready for the intro? I’ll start it and introduce you, okay?” You’d actually prepared a script for yourself, and showed Sukuna as well.

“Okay.” Stepping in front of the camera, Sukuna bristled at feeling you so close to him. Your arm brushed his casually as you were fixing your shirt, and Sukuna was glad he’d worn his most expensive cologne for this.

“Hi everyone, welcome to today's video! As you know, I’m (Y/N), and today we have a special guest today!” Throwing your arms in the air, you motioned to Sukuna.

“Hi.” He nodded, barely cracking a smile. He could feel you looking at him like you wanted to say something, but he didn’t look.

“So, many people have been asking for us to do a collaboration and it’s finally here!” Clapping your hands lightly, you rocked on your heels and nudged his shoulder with yours. “Do you want to tell them what we’ll be doing today?”

“Uh-” The playful nudge you’d given him was enough to make Sukuna short circuit. “I-I-” He suddenly couldn’t remember how to speak. “Rice?”

“Let’s try that again.” You laughed. “Do you want to tell them what we’ll be doing today?” This time, you didn’t nudge him with your shoulder.

“We’re gonna…” the words were on the tip of his tongue, they wanted to come out and be spoken but he couldn’t do it.

“It’s okay, it’s okay!” Nodding reassuringly, you took a deep breath in and out, and Sukuna shakily copied. “One more try?” When he looked at you, Sukuna expected to see a hint of annoyance in your face, but there was none. You were just smiling softly at him, waiting for his answer.

“Yeah. I’ll uh, I’ll get it next time.” Stepping away from the camera, Sukuna took a drink of water and cleared his throat. Cracking the bones in his neck, he took a deep breath and came back. “Let’s do it.” No more fucking embarrassments.

“Do you want to tell them what we’ll be doing today?” You asked for the third time, slightly swaying your body side to side this time.

“We’re gonna make katsudon today.” Finally, the words he wanted to say came out.

“That’s right! As you can see, Sukuna is really fit!” You immediately hopped in, giving his arm a brief squeeze. “And he knows how to make a ton of healthy meals!”

“Mhmm.”

“So I asked if he could help teach me, and all of you at home, how to make it!” Smiling at the camera, you waited a few seconds before relaxing and turning it off. “Did you like that? We can refilm it if you want.”

“No, it’s okay.” Running a hand through his hair, he pointed to the bag of rice he’d brought. “Let’s get started on this shit.”

Taking fifteen minutes to film the two of you filling up the rice cooker, when it was over, you set about getting aesthetic shots of the other ingredients. Sukuna tried to seem casual off to the side on his phone, but he was really watching you.

Getting started on chopping the ingredients, Sukuna somehow managed to say the things he was supposed to without stuttering too badly. He was amazed that you could make the things he was doing sound so interesting, your narration as you held the camera and tried to do things yourself was impressive to the man that barely knew anything about cameras.

“Sukuna, I need help cutting the meat.” You whined, tapping the meat on the cutting board with a knife. “I don’t remember how you showed me.”

“Here.” Without thinking, Sukuan grabbed your hand with the knife in it and moved it for you. “You just have to move your wrist more, it’s not that hard.” Doing it a few times, when Sukuna felt your chest expand with air against his, that’s when he realized how close the two of you were. “S-sorry.” Immediately jumping back, he stared at the floor.

“Thanks!” Giving him a smile, you kept at it.

“I’ll fry the meat.” Stepping in as soon as you were done, Sukuna already had the hot oil ready. He was eager to cook and do something with his hands instead of - what he felt like - was awkwardly watching you off to the side.

“Okay!” Grabbing the camera, you focused on the pan. “You’re really good at this, Sukuna!”

“T-thanks.” Staring directly at the pan, Sukuna didn’t look away. Even with the hot oil popping up from the pan a few times and burning his fingers, he didn’t flinch at all.

“Ow!” But you did. Your hand had gotten too close, and when Sukuna flipped the meat, some of the oil had gotten on your hand.

“Shit.” Abandoning the pan, Sukuna was ready to drag you over to the sink for some cool water.

“I-it’s okay, it was only a little.” Shaking your stinging hand, you point to the food. “But I think the meat might burn.”

“Shit!”

Narrowly avoiding disaster with the meat, when it came time to cook the eggs, you made a joke about how you liked your eggs in the morning and Sukuna burnt them almost immediately. While not an overtly sexual comment, the implications of the words still affected him.

Somehow, he managed to make the dish come together and while his plated dish didn’t come out the best, yours looked at least halfway decent with overcooked meat and burnt eggs. The only things not messed up were the rice and vegetables, and even then Sukuna was surprised.

“We did it everyone, we made katsudon!” Holding up the bowls, you smiled big and nudged Sukunas shoulder again. “You saw we had a few mishaps along the way, but that’s okay, that’s what made it fun.”

“Yeah, it was fun.” Sukuna chuckled. Despite him being more nervous than he’d ever thought possible, he had fun cooking alongside you.

“Sukuna, will you try mine? I made it super pretty and everything.” Holding your dish up to him, Sukuna wasn’t expecting you to do that. Now he felt bad that his looked so ugly and like a teenaged boy made it; he almost said no.

Eating yours though, somehow it tasted better than he was expecting. It must have been how you prepared it, and the fact that you cared so much about the presentation. Eating it in silence, he let you eat in peace as well for a few minutes and compliment the food to the camera.

“Alright, that’s the end of the video!” Putting your bowl down, you turned to Sukuna. “I had so much fun today, thanks for filming this with me.” Now was his chance to make everything better. Putting his bowl down and bolstering himself with confidence, Sukuna threw his arm over your shoulder and pulled you close to him.

“Thank you (Y/N), I really did enjoy today. I hope we can film again soon!” He squeezed your shoulder and smiled really big at not only you but the camera as well. He knew he was blushing, he knew that even the tip of his nose was a nice rosy shade, but he didn’t care. If people teased him for it, then so be it. But he wanted you to know how he truly felt.

“R-really? You want to?” You asked, looking up at Sukuna from your place smooshed against his body.

“Really.”

“Aww, well you heard it here first everyone! Sukuna wants to shoot another video with me!” Clapping your hands a few times, you waved at the camera. “Okay, bye everyone!”

“Bye.” Sukuna waved too, waiting a few seconds before letting you go and turning off the camera.

“Sukuna, did you really mean it? You want to film another video with me?” You were in utter disbelief. All this time, he’d just seemed very standoffish, if not a little awkward around you. You were happy to film this video with him, he had way more followers than you and it would help boost both your channels, and to hear him say that just made it even better.

“Yeah, I was serious.” Sukuna spoke around stuffing his mouth with the food he still had left. He was more hungry than he thought, the nerves doing a good job of twisting his stomach during the video. Now that it’s over, he can finally relax.

“That makes me really happy.” Eating the rest of your food as well, you leant against the counter. “This is gonna sound kind of mean, but I was really scared to film with you today. I thought you were going to be really mean.”

“Shit, you did?” He grimaced, letting out a sigh. “Sorry I had you worried.” He could already imagine the comments you would get from his fans.

“It’s okay! You’re actually way nicer in person, I was surprised!”

“That’s good.”

“And you’re really buff, you have muscles in places I didn’t even know were possible!” You laughed bashfully at that comment, and avoided looking at him when he stared at you in shock. “I couldn’t help but notice…”

Were you checking him out? Had you been checking him out this whole time and he didn’t even realize? He had seen you eyeing him up when you first met, but were you looking at him like that at other times as well? Now he’d really have to watch your video to see if it was true.

“Thanks, it’s my job.” Could he have said that any lamer? “My job outside of all this, I mean. I’m a trainer at this fancy gym downtown.”

“Oh, I’ve seen some of your videos at your gym! I know which one you’re talking about.”

“You do? You’ve seen my videos?” If he wasn’t surprised before, he was now.

“Yeah, you know I had to do a little research beforehand.” You nodded, beginning to clean up the dishes around you. “And I know you’ve already watched almost all of my videos, so it only seemed fair.”

Did you have to bring that up? Now Sukuna was embarrassed again.

“Y-yeah, I did.” Clearing his throat, Sukuna helped gather the dishes. He took up washing them, another task he could do to get his mind off you. As you took down the camera equipment, he nearly broke several dishes and utensils from scrubbing too hard.

“I’ll call you an Uber.” He said when all was said and done and you were back at the front of the building.

“You don’t have to, it’s okay.”

“No, I want to.” Quickly calling you a ride, Sukuna fiddled with his phone a little more. “Uh, could I- could I-” His voice kept leaving him, and he had to cough a few times. “Can I get your number? I really liked your camera shit and I want to improve mine.” Okay, it wasn’t a total lie. He did like your setup and wanted to make his just as good, but he really wanted your number to potentially talk to you more about things outside of Youtube.

“Sure! Go ahead and type it in.” You were quick to give him your phone, a cute pink phone case on the back of it. Typing it in, he can’t help but notice the little devil emoji you add by his name. He wants to ask, but your ride is already pulling up.

“Bye!” Setting all your camera gear inside the car, you turn and wave goodbye.

“See ya.” Just as you’re about to close the car door, Sukuna gets a burst of confidence. “Text me when you get home, okay?”

“Okay!” And off you go. Sukuna watches the car drive off until he can’t see it anymore. He takes his time getting to his own place, eagerly awaiting your message with every step. But even when you do message him, all he can do is send a thumbs up back and nothing else.

It’s about two and a half days after that that you text him again, letting him know you’re done editing and that you’re going to post the video soon. It wasn’t a very long video to begin with, so the editing was simple enough. Sukuna replied with what appeared to be a lackluster ‘can’t wait’, but on the inside he was shaking. He’d already screenshot all the pictures the two of you took together and added them to a folder.

“Here we go.” As soon as the video went live, Sukuna watched it. He was mortified as soon as it started at the blush so evident on his cheeks, and how it stayed throughout the whole thing. He groaned at the part where he helped you cut up the meat, he almost wishes you’d cut it out. Every little detail that made him embarrassed was there, every little nuance of his actions you’d managed to capture and make it cute.

(Y/N): How do you like it??

You texted him after twenty minutes, eager to hear his thoughts.

(Sukuna): it’s good, good editing and stuff

(Y/N): yay! I’m going to read comments in a few hours, you should too! I bet people will be really shocked!

(Sukuna): yeah no doubt

Oh, he was definitely going to read the comments. Whereas you were going to wait for a fair few to come in before commenting, Sukuna frequently refreshed the page and read the new ones as they came in. You were right, a lot of people were surprised, but he also saw a lot of his fans as well.

‘Ew Sukuna really cooked for that bitch? They can’t do it themselves?’

‘Yeah, why do they have to rely on him? Useless as fuck lol’

‘Sukuna only did this to get laid, (Y/N) looks like an easy fuck’

All of those comments, and many more, made his blood boil. Usually, he wouldn’t care at all about the comments, letting them fester in his comment section and spiral out of control. But for you, it was different.

‘Fuck off and die you pieces of shit. Leave (Y/N) alone or say it to my fucking face’

Sukuna sent that message, along with a variety of other threats, to all the people that insulted you. He didn’t care that this wasn’t his channel and that you would deal with it in whatever way you wanted to. He needed to defend you against the unwanted audience he’d brought you.

Luckily, after seeing Sukunas messages, all of his fans backed off. They knew how serious he was about his threats and there were many rumors that he actually did go and beat people up who said things he didn’t like. No one wanted to be on the receiving end of his torment.

With Sukunas name attached to the video and his heavy presence in the comment section, the video easily went viral. It was easily the most viewed video on your channel, getting on the trending pages of several different platforms.

(Sukuna): hey

It’s nearly a week after the first video that Sukuna messages you, and the hype is still going strong, and your follower count grows greatly from it.

(Y/N): hi! What’s up?

(Sukuna): do you want to film a video for my channel now? We can play a game, I have a few

(Y/N): sure that sounds fun!

Oh how wrong you were. The game Sukuna chose was a scary game, a shooter game with scary zombies and a lot of possible jumpscares. He doesn’t tell you either, so on the night of filming - he insisted on it being nighttime to get the full scary effect - you were caught off guard.

“I don’t know about this.” You whined once you saw the title. The two of you were video calling alongside playing the game together, and Sukuna’s eyes flicked to your figure on the screen.

“It’ll be okay, I’ll carry you, don’t worry.” He had started filming as soon as he’d set up the game, and you were filming yourself as well for him.

“You promise it won’t be too scary?”

“If it’s too scary just close your eyes and I’ll protect you.” Smiling softly at you, he started up the game. The beginning was fine, just a quick introduction to the game, but as soon as things started to get moving, you were scared.

“Sukuna a zombie is eating me!” You screamed, frantically pushing buttons in an attempt to get it off.

“It’s okay!” He quickly got rid of it, and made sure to stay close to your character as the story progressed.

“(Y/N) stay by me, there’s about to be a whole lot of them.”

“Close your eyes there’s about to be a jump scare here.”

“Don’t worry about getting that item, I’ll grab it for you!”

Sukuna nearly forgot he was being filmed, saying sweet things to you to help encourage you and make sure you weren’t overwhelmed. There were many parts where you screamed in fright and Sukuna was there to coo at you and tell you it was okay. He made sure that your character never died, making sure to keep you close until the end of the game.

“Sukuna, that was so hard!” Squishing your cheeks in your hands, you looked at him through your phone.

“It was fun though, wasn’t it? I had fun with you.” Completely abandoning the game, he stared down at his phone with a soft smile on his face.

“Yeah, when there weren’t so many zombies.” You stuck your tongue out at him, and it made him laugh. Leaning his head into his hand, Sukuna grinned when you yawned.

“Aw, are you tired? Better go to sleep soon.” His voice dropped to a lower volume, like you were right next to him.

“I will.” You yawned again and it made Sukuna yawn as well.

“Get off the phone and go to bed, you’re making me tired too.”

“Fine.” Whining out the word, you waved sleepily. “Goodnight Sukuna, I’ll send you the video files in the morning, okay?”

“Night.” Waving back, Sukuna waited until you hung up to turn his stuff off as well.

In the morning, Sukuna was ready to edit. What usually took him a week to edit out of laziness, he took only a day to edit this video with you together. Rewatching the footage, he nearly gagged at seeing how soft his face got when he looked at you, and most of those parts were left in because he couldn’t stand to watch them and fix them.

(Sukuna): videos up

The next day, he messaged you. Once again Sukuna patrolled the comments, swiftly deleting any that said even a hint of a bad thing about you. There was less this time, what with Sukuna adding a warning at the beginning of the video threatening anyone that talked down at you.

This video, like the first, went viral. But for a much different reason. Since Sukuna was emotionally unable to deal with how sappy he was and edit those parts out, everyone got to see how soft he was for you. If the comments weren’t mean, they were screaming about how you and Sukuna must be dating now, because why else would he look at you and talk to you like that?

And much to Sukuna’s dismay, there were also fancam edits of you two together. Any clippable moment of him being sweet on you in the videos you’d made together along with the photos you’d posted on Instagram were edited together and posted on Twitter. You both were tagged in every single one, making sure Sukuna saw all the videos of you and him together. He saved all of them too, delighting in the way you looked with him with all those pretty filters.

By the end of the day, people were trying to put a ship name together for the two of you and he’s seen you repost a few fancams with cute messages of thanks as well. Seeing you receptive to the fans screaming about the two of you made him happy, even if he was still too nervous to text you about anything outside of Youtube.

As more comments came in, people on Twitter were begging him to do a vlog with you. You had quite a few on your channel, going to cafes or filming what your day or week was like. Sukuna had watched them all and was jealous of every single person that appeared alongside you.

(Y/N): hey I’m doing a live on Instagram if you want to join me! I know people really like us together lol it’ll be great for views

(Sukuna): sure

Did you want him to join now? He’d just gotten out of the shower and thrown on a pair of sweats, he wasn’t exactly decent. But he didn’t want to waste time getting ready only for you to end the live.

“Hi Sukuna!” You smiled and waved when he appeared on the screen.

“Hey.” He waved back, not caring about the angle he was holding the camera in. He saw hearts begin to fill up the screen and comments started to fly by, almost all in caps about the fact he was shirtless talking to you.

“Guys, don’t be weird! Who cares that Sukuna is shirtless?” You tried to stop them, but it was clear you were flustered as well. You weren’t looking at him, peeking at him through the screen a few times.

“God you’re all thirsty as fuck.” Sukuna finally looked at himself on the screen. He was shirtless and in bed, hair slightly damp and tousled on his pillow. Reading a few comments, he shot up. “Of course I’m wearing pants, you nasty fuck!” Storming out of bed, he stood in front of the only mirror in his house that wasn’t in the bathroom and turned the camera around. “See, look!”

“Oh.” Gasping softly, you were glad Sukuna didn’t notice you screenshot the live. Clad in only gray sweatpants, Sukuna’s freshly cleaned skin gleamed in the light of his bedroom and every single muscle and edge of his body was on display.

“There, told you I wasn’t fucking naked.” Rolling his eyes, he flopped back down on the bed. None of the comments had gotten any better, all of them talking about how hot he was and how you were so lucky to know him in real life.

“L-let's talk about something else.” You stammered, not showing your face on camera for a few minutes. Sukuna laughed at the comments teasing you for being embarrassed, agreeing with some of them under his breath.

“So, what the fuck are you all doing here?” Sukuna posed the question at the chat, but at you as well.

“Well before you came everyone was talking about you...and you know how everyone has been begging for us to vlog?” You started off slowly, peeking an eye at his face.

“Yeah?”

“I wanted to call you to ask how you felt about that?” How he felt? Why did you want to know?

“You couldn’t have texted me that?” That wasn’t necessarily what he wanted to say, but it made you chuckle, so it was okay.

“No! I wanted to ask so everyone could know!”

“I don’t mind it.” If you wanted to vlog with him, he would do it in a heartbeat.

“So…” Worrying your lip, you looked off camera for a few seconds before looking directly at Sukuna. “Would you like to be in a vlog with me, at a cafe? It’s outside the city, kind of far, but we can rent a car or-”

“Yes.” Sukuna interrupted, nodding his head quickly. “I’ll come. We don’t have to rent a car, I’ll drive.”

“Really?” The comments were just as shocked as you were. Sukuna never filmed anywhere but his home and the gym, this would be a monumental occasion.

“Did you want me to say no?”

“No!” You screamed immediately, nearly dropping your phone. “I just- I wasn’t expecting you to say yes!”

“Well I did.” Sukuna bit his lip, running a hand through his hair and flexing his arm. “So I guess it’s a date, huh?” His normal asshole confidence was back now that you were appearing through a screen and not right next to him. A surprised sound came from the back of your throat, and you nearly dropped the phone again.

“Y-yeah! A date!” It felt good to have you flustered for once and not Sukuna. Laughing heartily at you, Sukuna smirked at the comments.

“Was that all you wanted to ask me or was there something more?”

“No, that was it!”

“Alright.” Licking his lip and letting his tongue hang out of his mouth a little, Sukuna watched you bite your lip as well. “Well I’m gonna go, I got stuff to do, but I’ll text you later (Y/N).” Dropping his voice as he said goodbye, Sukuna left the livestream.

“Holy fuck.” As soon as his phone was off, Sukuna let out a breath he’d been holding in. His heart was pounding hard despite how confident he was in his actions. Flirting was nothing new to him, but with you it felt different and like he’d never done it before in his life.

He watched the rest of your livestream while he finished getting ready for bed, laughing at the comments still teasing you about getting flustered with him. The notifications for Twitter were going off as well, and he knew for sure that there were new fancams for him to check out later.

(Y/N): Sukuna!! You’re so embarrassing!

Texting him after your stream, your cheeks were still burning at the memory.

(Sukuna): hey, you said it would be good for views and it was

(Y/N): I know…

(Y/N): did you really mean it, about coming with me?

(Sukuna): of course. If I didn’t want to I would have said no

(Y/N): that’s good lol!

There was a lull in conversation, and Sukuna nearly fell asleep waiting for you to either text him again or for him to figure out what to say next.

(Y/N): so, a date huh? Are you going to bring me flowers?

Now he was awake. He didn’t expect you to bring that up again, and his eyes flew open. Sukuna’s fingers hovered over the keyboard, mind going blank on what to say.

(Y/N): lol just kidding! I know you only said that for the stream! I’ll text you later about the details, I’m about to knock out

(Y/N): goodnight :)

Well shit. Now he definitely wanted it to be a date.

[monochromemedic]

I had been stuck in the Dark World for who knows how long. The days didn’t seem to matter down here. No sun, no moon, just the vibrant green grid that coated the sky that would twitch and surge with occasional frequency.  When I first got here, I fought hard to get back to the surface, to fight for any sense of normalcy, for home but after a while the dream began to fade. The options began to run dry when compared to the dangers that surrounded me. And so I settled. I survived. I searched for food, begged for shelter from kind Darkners. I did what I had to to live. The Queen was not an option. Whispers from Darkners told me how I was just what she was looking for, that would help her expand her reign to the Light World. As much as that would probably help me, I didn’t want to ruin the lives of others for the chance to see my family, as much as I missed them with every passing minute. The sound of bustling cars and the blinding lights of neon signs stung my senses, my palms pressing into my eyes to drown out what I could. Damn it this place never slept did it? There was always something, some sort of noise. Whatever bags I had under my eyes were probably made cartoonishly drastic with the lack of pure rest I was getting. ‘Supose it was better then being dead... My body felt heavy, and I knew I’d have to find a place to rest or I’d fall asleep mid crossing of a road and get run over by one of those goofy cars I’d seen. Maybe that wouldn’t be so bad... I recalled the time one of the car’s rear bumped into a fire hydrant (or at least I thought it was) and made a squeaking sound. The darkness of a certain alley called to me, the silence a sweet lullaby to the roaring around me. Was it dangerous? Oh yeah. Was it stupid? No shit. Was I going to do it? The shadows the engulfed me were perfect and if it wasn’t for the underlying stench of garbage it’d probably be ideal. Still beggars couldn’t be choosers and if tonight was good enough I would have to consider having this as my permanent sleeping spot. My back slid against the cool wall across from the dumpster, eyes half lidded as they read the advertisements littering above. Why the hell did the Queen have ads anyway, if she wanted she could monopolize any products she wanted... Despite the quiet I couldn’t shake the feeling that creeped down my spine. The presence of something other then myself around me. I tried to close my eyes, I was in the city after all. It’d be concerning if I didn’t feel like people were one second from crawling up my ass. Though I had to admit I didn’t expect to actually feel something begin to touch me. My eyes snapped open, elbow prodding into a blurry shape that yelped and tumbled backward, it’s grasp my on shoulder tearing a hole in my already worn shirt in the struggle. “Hey! What the hell?!” I barked, standing over the perpetrator. My shoulders slumped when I saw what looked to be a doll staring up at me with wide eyes, an over exaggerated smile permanently spread across it’s face. The creature’s jaw opened wider with a clack, it’s small body shooting upwards to stand on it’s small pointed feet. “WOAH WOAH WOAHAH- [Live worms]!”   The darkner’s voice was deafeningly loud, a shrill tone that cut the air like newly sharpened blades. “ I THOUGHT YOU WERE [Roadkill]. NICE TO KNOW I WON’T BE [Sleeping with the fishes] T0NIGHT!!” Well he had a certain way of speaking that was obvious. What the hell was going on with him, he talked like he was constantly being cut of random clips of other people speaking. He talked like a youtube poop or any other shitpost that would randomly shove memes into them for a quick laugh. “You thought I was dead? I was just... I was... uh.” I looked around me, eyeing the dirt and debris. “I was... going to sleep... here.”  Dammit, telling people I had to sleep in such ratty places were always a blow to the ego but I suppose it was better then saying ‘Oh I was just sitting down here to die’ The puppet shook his head and waltzed over to the dumpster, his small hand smacking the side with a sense of pride. “ [Finders keepers, losers weepers] HUMAN, YOU PICKED A GOOD SPOT. TOO BAD [so sadd] I GOT HERE FIRST. THOUGH FOR A DEAL I SUPPOSE I COULD [Share the love~]” “Got here first... what are you talking about?” The Darkner let out a laugh, distorted echoes filling the air as he leapt inside, a solitary hand popping out to beg me to come closer. This was a terrible idea, but despite my best judgement I followed, and witnessed what I could only describe to be a makeshift bed inside.  The puppet laid on top of musty mats and raggedy rugs, a single stained pillow resting just beneath his head. My god was he living in here? The creature continued his laugh, lurching only a few inches away from my face. “ [Sweet deal] ISN’T IT? J3ALOUS, [baby]?”  I shirked back, cheeks reddening at the tone of his last word. I was most defiantly not jealous, in fact I was filled with remorse, something his pride did not help with. “It’s... uh something. I guess this means I’ll have to find another alleyway um, sorry for bothering you-” “SPAMTON.” “What?” His hand shot out towards my chest, fingers wiggling for a handshake. “SP-SPA MTON G SPAMTON, [Number 1 rated salesmen 1997]” He announced, an extra flair of bravado laced his titled. His hand was surprisingly warm for what it was made of but nothing that would be described as body temperature.  “Jenna. Also 1997.” “WHAT A YEAR. LISTEN LIGHT nER, I AM DEALSMAN [yes/no?]” “Um... y-yes? I don’t-” “THEN LET ME MAKE A DEAL YEAH? FOR ONLY [many] KROMER, YOU MAY STAY IN MY [Privately owned] ALLEY. IT’S A REAL [steal] YOU’RE ROBBING ME [deaf] HERE!” My brows furrowed as I searched his face for any context clues for what the hell he was trying to say. Kromer? What the fuck was ‘kromer’? The only thing I knew of currency down here was dark dollars not kromer... even if he did ask for dark dollars he didn’t name a price, he just said many. And the amount of dark dollars I had was zero. “Uh I don’t have kromer. I don’t even have dark dollars I’m kinda broke Spamton, in case you couldn’t tell from uh...” I trailed off realizing saying that sleeping in an alley wasn’t a very smart thing to say to someone who slept in an alley.  He seemed surprised by my words, beginning to tug on my coat, flipping my pockets to see if I was really lying. I had to push his mitts off me a couple of times, to which he eventually got the idea the way his hands began to rub at his extended jaw. “NO KROMER... WHAT CAN YOU DO?” “What do you mean?” He seemed to sense my change in tone, his grin beginning to wobble nervously “[Whoopsie daisy!] LET ME START AGAIN. DO YOU HAVE A [trade]? A [skill] TO [Exchange for goods and services]?” he croaked. I eyed the ground, rubbing the back of my neck. What the hell was I good at again? “I mean, I can draw, I suppose...” “ARTIST? WOW OWOW!” Spamton’s face lit up before digging in the dumpster, pulling out a few napkins and a ball point pen and shoving them into my hands. “WHAT A [trade] TELL YOU WHAT. YOU DRAW A [one-of-a-kind masterpiece] AND YOU CAN STAY THE NIGHT!” “You’ll let me stay... if I draw something for you on this napkin. Am I getting that right?” The doll nodded feverishly, basically hovering over my shoulder as I played with the pen. This was certainly the weirdest way to pay someone that I could imagine... well no but one that was in the realm of reality. I had to ask Spamton to give me some space a few time, the feeling of his breath on  my neck making me more then nervous as I drew. God he was like those kids in school that would ask for drawings but ten times worse with the amount of personal space he’d give you. Besides I needed something to draw and with nothing on the mind why not draw the most interesting thing in front of me. I held the finished doodle out to Spamton only to have it snatched out of my fingers so fast I swore we could have started a fire. “WOAH...” The puppet sank inside of the dumpster, his face softening  as for once in what seemed like forever the alley way grew silent. “THIS IS... ME?” “Yeah. Sorry I didn’t know what to draw, you kind of put me on the spot. Besides everyone likes drawings of themselves right?” I shrugged, being pulled away from my thoughts by an overdramatic sniffle. Was he... crying? Not quite, just damn well close. Spamton’s shoulders quaked as a warm smile returned to his cheeks, slipping the napkin into his pocket with glee. “SO GOOD... THANK YOU.” “It’s really nothing, honestly that was a pretty shitty drawing.” “WHAT? YOU’RE [&#!^]ING ME! THAT WAS [BIG SHOT]” He was screaming again, hands gesturing wildly about. “It wasn’t but thank you. I wish I was better to be honest. I’m not very happy with my art, not at all.” I turned away from his gaze, unsure of why I was overcome by a choking sensation building my throat.  Why the hell was I telling this stranger this sort of stuff anyway? I mean I could hazard a guess it was the fact that this was the longest conversation I had had with anyone since I had gotten down here but with how things were it could be some magic power the doll possessed to tell him my deepest darkest secrets. “YOU DON’T THINK THIS IS [Big?]” “No.” “WHY NOT?” “I don’t know. I just... I think it doesn’t look the way I want it to. Doesn’t look good to me, and I don’t know how to fix it. Which I guess is a little funny considering how long I’ve been drawing. Just keep... drawing and drawing and never improving, least not how I’d like. It’s just garbage to me.” Spamton’s face seemed to fall, his glasses fading to a dark inky black.  “YOU FEEL? NO GOOD AT WHAT YOU DO? YOUR [passion]?”  “Yeah.” A laugh ripped from his chest, his head lolling back with each chuckle. I felt my soul began to crack, a shame flooding my body with how hard he seemed to laugh. Did he find this funny? Humorous?  I felt tears prick my eyes as I snapped my head back to glare at him, his head glitching back to stare back at me. “YOU’RE JUST LIKE ME, JENNA. A [slime] A REAL [slime]!” With a quick motion the puppet jumped to the ground, his hand resting against my arm as he spoke.  “YOU’RE A REAL [BIG SHOT] YOU KNOW THAT? STAY AS LONG AS YOUR [Greasy little heart] DESIRES!” Well... that was unexpected. He’d really let me stay here as long as I want cause I was pathetic? Or did he just feel sorry for me? What was going on? And why was he calling me a slime... or us a slime?  “Oh... uh thanks? I didn’t think I was being  much of a big shot whatever that is but I apricate it. Really.” His head clacked with every little nod, leading me to a pile of cardboard boxes and patting them with the grace of a car salesman. “BEST [Seat in the house] ALL FOR YOU. [Night night forever]!” Spamton beamed, awkwardly swaying side to side before stumbling back to the dumpster a few inches away and crawling inside of it, much like a wild animal. I couldn’t help but laugh a little. This guy was weird. Kinda creepy but also kind of funny. I honestly couldn’t pinpoint a feeling on him but at least he didn’t want to hurt me just make weird ass deals and make me ‘big’. Did that mean famous? Was this guy so into my art he wanted to be some sort of manager? I rubbed my eyes and let out a yawn, the excitement of the day finally beginning to fade. God I forgot how tired I was, that little guy made me feel like I was gonna go into fight or flight.  “Hey Spamton?” “YES?” his voice echoed from inside the metal container. “...Thank you.”